"Stay Fuelled by the Purpose"

This week I have been away from home to attend a software training course in Johannesburg. I have up to now, been trying a DIY or rather TIY (Teach It Yourself) approach with very little success and much frustration. 

The course presenter is supremely knowledgeable about the software due to his years of experience with it and effortlessly navigates his way through menu paths, mouse gestures, selecting variables, updating, referencing, linking and regenerating. Watching him operate is like watching a symphony conductor at work. I’m guessing, but I imagine my efforts at reproducing his baton movements would be very similar to my mimicking the course presenter’s skills.

I cannot even pretend to be an expert in this field but the comforting fact is that he too, at one point sat in the same introductory course I am being trained in. This reminds me of one of my earlier blogs, “You CAN get there from here.” There may be a far off place or somewhere just around the corner, it may be something easily achievable or something on the ‘one-day list’. Whatever it may be, you just have to purpose yourself to go.  Without a purpose, you are just out for a stroll. You may by chance get somewhere but more than likely you’ll either get lost or end up right where you started (with tired legs).

I am much more of a plan and purpose type person. It is just much more efficient use of my time and resources. One of my biggest annoyances is having my efforts wasted. It is completely demoralising and I’ll dramatize it a bit by saying that it is  even disrespectful…

This week away from home, although tough to be away from my family has been productive in gaining momentum for my purpose. It is equipping me for the journey ahead. Gaining the necessary resources for the journey is very important. You could find yourself half-way down the main road and realise that you didn't fill up with gas, halting the journey where it is until you have refuelled. Distractions like these can derail your focus and send you in a completely different direction. Stay fuelled by the purpose and keep your eyes on the goal. Trying to keep a flame burning without sufficient fuel is never going to be successful. This message leads on from last weeks in terms of ‘your purpose’. You need to discover your purpose and try and marry your goals to those purposes. Having identified a clear purpose behind those goals is like bringing in rocket fuel to keep a candle burning. It’s going to burn bright and for a long time...

The Life of a Pickle

What is it that defines who you are?

What is it that gives you purpose?

Where do you add value?

If you had answers to each of those questions, then the next question would be how to further use those qualities. If you say you did not have answers, I say find a quiet moment and read the questions again. Pause that instantaneous thought that enters your mind as you read the question. That very first thought, that is usually pushed aside by over-thinking, general negativity, self-doubt and social condemnation. Allow that first thought to play through a little. Believing that it could possibly be true and you will find that it is usually is the truth. No matter how small or silly the idea may be, take the liberty and run with it, before your mind police arrest your thoughts. Play the movie in your mind and see how it develops and what impact that "silly" idea really has in your world.

My thought police are quite active and forceful in their duties which probably contributes to my quiet demeanor. Any way, allowing my immediate response to the above allows me to realise that I am an integral part of a very blessed family, I have a pretty good spiritual life as a Christian and I do believe I am a positive contributor to the people around me. Even now, the mind-police are trying to get me to re-write that sentence, saying it is boastful, full of pride and a general "who cares about that" type of negativity. I think many others would be facing similar mind-censorship, but suppress those constraints and pursue your ideas anyway and you will see that you too have purpose and value.

If you still struggle to get the "movie" to play, spend your day actively monitoring your interactions as an outsider. A bit of a strange concept but try it. Every conversation you have, watch it as another person in the room. Don't be too critical of yourself, but look for the 'add-value' openings you are provided with. I often "see" them after the person has left and only then realise the lost opportunity I had to uplift someone or to encourage them. Some days I get it right, others I fail completely, but did I mention that some days I get it right!!! That's how it starts, and with some practise, I'll be getting more right days than fail days. It does take effort and putting yourself out-there, but the feeling of positively impacting somebody's life is definitely worth it. You also don't need any special training, degrees or courses to do it. You just start today, with the next person you meet. Go.

(What did the title of my message today have to do with the content? I don't know, but it was the immediate thought I had when I realised I hadn't filled in a title and I just ran with it without the mind-police correcting me...)

Remit and Release

So having a public holiday on a Friday, messes a bit with my early Friday morning schedule of sitting down and writing my blog. Doing a half marathon instead, messes a bit with my entire body...  Now it's time to catch-up.
Maybe that should be the sub-title for my message today, it's never too late to "catch-up"! Whatever has happened, has happened, you cannot change that. What you can change is what you decide to do today. I am probably one of the most stubborn people around and I know I can really dig my heels in and resist doing the right thing all out of stubbornness or in another word, pride. I can latch onto an incident and rewind and replay it over and over in my mind, reinforcing the emotions each time. This is the problem with the "quiet-types", while the mouth is still, the brain is in hyper-drive. (Although not always in a negative way.)
What should I be doing?   -  Remit and Release. Today.
Fix what can be fixed, apologise again if you have faulted, forgive if you were on the receiving end. And then, release the incident. Release doesn't mean forget; it just means not holding it so close to your heart that you are not able to feel anything else. Releasing "it" also releases yourself to move on. It takes your focus off of "it" and frees you to see everything else you have been missing out on.
What is "it" that has you captured? Is it a hurt you can't seem to move past? An action you can't seem to forgive? A word passed in a moment of emotion that now haunts you? Is it regret for something you should have done and didn't step out and do-it?
There are so many "its", that could possibly imprison our hearts and minds that we have to be on the alert and rectify them as soon as we can before we build a fortress around ourselves.
Start today with the first thing that has your focus while reading this. See if there is any action you can take to rectify the situation and do it, right now. Apologise or forgive those involved. It may be a case of forgiving yourself or forgiving people who unknowingly have hurt you. Forgive them anyway. Start with a head-based forgiveness and allow the thoughts of forgiveness to percolate into your heart. Once this is done, open those clenched fists holding onto the "it" and allow it to dissolve. You can feel the constriction of the pain and hurt being eased off and you realise just how trapped you were. Release and be free once more.

8-5 is a Long Time to Not Smile...

This week has been a pretty hectic one at the office with some important project delivery deadlines to be met. My office space has been abuzz with designers and engineers resolving issues, reviewing design options and signing off drawings. This, in addition to my role in doing actual design work and liaising with external designers, has resulted in little time to reflect on "thoughtful" things to blog about. Even my run yesterday, which is usually a great time for reflection, seemed to be just a blur of nondescript colours. I am sure, I am not alone in having times like this, where survival and endurance seem to be your focal points.

What should you do in times like this?
Unfortunately, I don't have any three step solutions. All I am going to do, is give all I can over this relatively short period to deliver the goods required of me. There is no way to sugar-coat this. There are times in life to just buckle down and work hard! No special formula, just focus and hard work.  I can't "demand" for the results of the finished deliverables, we have to actually get down and sweat it out to produce the results. (But now that is heading down a completely different avenue....)

I could waste time bemoaning the workload, ridiculous time-lines, external influences, etc... Or I can focus on what I need to contribute and be grateful that I can be part of a highly skilled team which is delivering a value-engineered product for both the client and our company. I can be grateful I have employment and not out-there struggling to find the next pay-cheque to support my family.
I am grateful.

Work is more than just an 8-5 time slot in your day. It is a period that you are giving of yourself to add value to your employer. Regardless of your current emotions and attitude towards your company for whatever reasons, it is your duty to give what you need to give to perform your job. I believe this is more important for your self-worth than out of dutiful employment. Leaving a task with a high sense of personal pride, regardless of your company's response, is more important for your job satisfaction.  Manager's however, please note, as managers of people, acknowledgement and recognition of people's efforts is probably one of your most important duties. Never neglect that aspect. People are putting the bulk of lives into being at work and should be recognised for this and not taken for granted as loyalty is easily lost and difficult to regain.

Working for most of us will be a lifelong experience and everyone of us can help make it a better one by recognising what others do within your organisation. Do something out of the ordinary for somebody else. Bosses, make coffee for your secretary for a change! Take time to laugh and have fun at work, 8-5 is a long time to not smile...

Worth Celebrating

It would be so easy to fall into the trap of complaining about the current debacles in South Africa but I think there is enough social media covering that ground. Instead...

Yesterday, I was looking at some photo's of nature in unusual but exceptionally beautiful forms. Cloud formations, lightning, ice formations, volcanoes... 
(http://distractify.com/dark/science/incredible-natural-phenomenon/) 

Yesterday, I also heard of the celebrations of a whole family for a son who had graduated and what a milestone achievement that was, as well as an inspiration for the younger members of the family.

We had some desperately needed rain.

I felt I had a productive workday, having completed some design objectives that had been outstanding for a while. 

My family were safe and sound when I arrived home and was greeted with a hug and kiss. There was a fabulous meal cooked and I was able to sleep in a warm bed.

I have technology to be able to write these messages. I have my mental acumen to create a comprehendible piece of writing while you have the ability and means to access and read the blog.

We have so much around us that is worth celebrating, why do we spend time dwelling on the negative? It is actually illogical. You have a choice to either bring joy, laughter and upliftment into your (or another's) life or you can choose to drag yourself down into negativity just by choosing what you want to celebrate. Because discussing something is putting it into a priority position. It is what you have chosen to spend this very moment doing. You have sacrificed all other options to do that thing right now! I would call that celebrating. I'd rather lift up the things I treasure and respect rather than the discouraging and degenerating topics. 

Leave the negativity to decay on its own. 
Celebrate only that worthy of celebrating. 

Let Them Know

So Thursday afternoon I attended a memorial service of a friend of mine who was ripped away from this world in an unexpected and tragic manner. She was a friend during my 'varisity years and a girlfriend to a good mate so as you can imagine we spent considerable time together. I can still remember when we first met; as a group we were off to watch a movie at Berea Centre. I can't remember what the movie was but clearly remember Mel like it was yesterday. For those that know me, I am not the most spontaneous communicator (to put it nicely), but Mel was in the passenger seat of the car turning around to face me and ask me all kinds of random things creating such a light atmosphere and of course so much laughter.
Unfortunately as life happens and as we followed our separate paths, we lost touch. On Saturday, I read of her accident and it hit my spirit with such impact, I actually groaned with the shock.

After so many years passing, I didn't know what Mel had accomplished with her life other than hearing that she had a beautiful daughter. However, sitting in the church, I could see how many lives she had touched and the profound impact she actually had on so many. The question that rose up in my mind was, "Did she know?".

My blog today is to remind myself to "Let them know". Don't let the opportunity pass to tell somehow how you feel about them, how important they are and how much you love them. That moment may never come again! The pastor used the word 'brevity' to describe our time on this earth. How you spend your time is your choice but realise how short your time is and that it could be taken
at any moment. Make your time count, make it a quality life. We all have our individual talents, so do what it is that you have been gifted with. We all have the propensity to love, just in different manners and capacities but we all have it. Don't hold it back, use the opportunity you have been given.

The pastor also compared our earthly time with our eternal experience. We can be so focused on surviving this life that we forget about the eternity we face afterwards. The 70-80 years we face on this earth are so insignificant in time comparison, to the measure of eternity. The earthly-time we have is available to decide what we choose to believe happens when we die. Most of us are fortunate to be able to freely practise our beliefs without sanction or punishment so use that opportunity.
For many years I was an atheist, choosing to believe I had no soul and once my life light was out, it was over. I have since become a Christian and have seen and experienced so much that I could never doubt the existence of God. That's my choice, just wanted to let you know you too have a choice...

Are Your Words Being Used to Build or Break?

Closing my eyes this morning and just letting words flash onto the windscreen of my mind, I generated the following list:

Colours, sounds, quietness, waterfalls, open fields, crashing waves, technology, love, sex, busyness, creativity, creation, death, endings, beginnings, fresh starts, connections, friendships, conversation, health, beliefs, faith, hope, prayer, conflict, hate, specifics, randomness, direction.

They seem pretty random, yet have a thread of connection or development or progression from one to the next. What I also found, was that as I read each word, I experienced a certain emotion. Each unique, based on the imagery or memory generated with the association of that word. 
How powerful our words can be! If, seemingly random words can change emotions or state of mind, then how much more powerful can a carefully constructed paragraph or a comment in a conversation be? Are your words being used to build or break? Sometimes it's also not the words themselves, but rather the tone or manner in which they are delivered that can deliver a message. A simple message like, "It's time to go", can be delivered as informative, instructional, suggestive or a multitude of other ways just depending on the tone of delivery. Your physical manner of delivery also conveys a message, so bouncing into a room with a smile of your face contrasts someone with hunched shoulders and a downcast demeanor delivering that same message. 

Absence of words can convey a message in itself. Possibly lack of interest, withdrawl from the process, either as a sign of rebelling or disapproval, or perhaps a lack of self-confidence in the subject.

Ultimately we get to choose our words and the manner in which we present them. Everyday, we also get to observe and interpret messages presented to ourselves. I urge you to think carefully about your words and the manner of conveyance, as the power and effect can have a significant impact. Remember, as you occasionally allow your words to poison, so too do other people make mistakes and you may be on the receiving end of a poorly thought out message. Beware of the people who consistently convey destructive messages and be even more aware if you are one of those people.
Choose to build.

"Do We Hear and See the Same?"

I had a flashback this week of a thought I had when I was young, "Do we all hear and see the same? The world I see, is it the same world you see? Do you see the colour yellow the same way I do?"
I have accepted that we do see and hear everything the same way, in the pragmatic sense but it's our interpretation of the data that varies from individual to individual. There is some over-lap and common-ground that occurs and these are generally the people we spend time with as they have similar outlooks and belief systems. Those that differ radically, usually end up in conflict. It would be a natural movement then, to avoid the conflict and move to where one is accepted with similar beliefs. With the scale of our global nature of doing life, we are constantly interacting with dissimilar people due to ethnicity, languages, religion, social class, education level and political standing. These are only a few differences I could quickly list, no wonder there is constant fighting. With so many differing viewpoints and the probability of two strong-willed dissimilar individuals interacting being very high, we are guaranteed to run into some conflict. Especially so, when one party wants to impose their beliefs and outlook onto another. Do we then live in separatist states, ignoring what happens next door, do we compromise and find some mutually agreeable solution or do we accept the differences for what they are and love the person despite of these differences? If only it was that simple. You are a vegetarian and I enjoy a good steak. That's pretty easy to accept and move on. Political and religious beliefs can run much deeper than that and compromise usually isn't an option in those categories. Acceptance would be the best solution but such is the way of politics and religion that acceptance is usually short-lived and conflict erupts out of the smallest disagreement. 

As different as we are as individuals, the commonality that brings us into groups is very powerful. The basis of the commonality needs to be questioned by each 'follower' before pledging allegiance to the group. 
Does what I believe in cause harm or does it encourage love for other people? 
That simple question should be the basis for any group being formed. Simplistic, yes! Why does it have to be complicated?

 “Your reality is as you perceive it to be. So it is true, that by altering this perception we can alter our reality.”- William Constantine.

A Bag of Puzzle Pieces

This week I felt that everywhere I turned I faced bad news. Reading the local news, my sniffing and coughing children (and wife) and hearing even worse health updates from friends has not made this a hi-light week for the year. The compounded effect makes me want to run away, escape to a calm quiet place where everything is just right with the world. Even if that were possible, it would only be momentary and the weight of reality and responsibility would break through the stillness of that place. Starting with a small voice but eventually being shouted so loudly in my thoughts that I could no longer ignore them. It would be best to face them head-on. Deal with them, move forward and make the best out the circumstances.

Perhaps I think too much. (I know that I do.) Perhaps I am far too sensitive with other people's problems and my level of empathy is detrimental to my own level of happiness. Perhaps that's why I developed my quirky sense of humour; maybe as a coping mechanism or as a way of 'doing my bit' to bring some laughter and joy to others. Maybe I'm over-thinking it, again.

Within all of this I continue to look for my purpose. What am I meant to be doing? I know it's far more than some humorous photo-shop images I put together for laughs. I know that I learn from every experience, every encounter with others. But what is it that I am supposed to do with all of this input? I don't want to reach my last breath still wondering what it is, but rather if there was something over and above what I had done that I could have done more of. I want to have put in the effort to make a difference, to add value. I don't want to waste a single moment on trivial things. I want to be productive, I want to improve myself, I want to improve my surroundings, I want to make the world a better place! Pretty bold purpose, in anybody's book but I believe we all have a role to play in that purpose. Everybody has a bag of puzzle pieces that need to be used at a specific time to make the whole outcome come together. Different puzzle pieces to contribute to different circumstances. You have them all, you just need to decide to use them at the right time. Not putting your piece down may delay somebody else from putting theirs onto the table with a domino-like stalling effect on others and an overall slowing down of the process. When you realise it is time to put your piece down, do it without delay. Play your part, fulfil your purpose and it may just help someone else fulfil theirs. It may also inspire others to look into their bags of puzzle pieces and see what they actually have. No-one has an empty bag! There is always a puzzle being constructed and although interesting to just watch and see how it comes together, how much more rewarding to contribute a building block to that outcome.  Reach into that bag and use your gifts!

Random Lottery-Style Effort

Looking at a blank "sheet of paper" reminds me of starting a new project. You know you have some ground to cover (or white space to fill in the case of writing a blog) but not sure how you are going to get there. I could fill the space with a whole bunch of random letters: ashhgushdnsboign and see if something of value comes out. There is a story about taking an infinite number of monkeys each with a type-writer and given an infinite amount of time, one would reproduce a classic literary work. My alternative to the random effort of lottery-style keypressing, considering my monkey-time is quite limited, is to put something of value into what I need to do. 

I have previously written about making every moment you have count, being positive and an encourager. None of this can be effectively achieved by random action. There has to be some plan and purpose to drive you forward. I can honestly say, it is not easy to write something, I think, has some value. The random keyboard dance seems like a great idea when facing a blank page, or even shutting down the computer and seizing a few more moments sleep. (Did you see what I did there?) Last week was very much one of those moments, but leading up to this morning's blog, I have had a number of comments that made me realise that there is a purpose and a function for these writings that has driven me to continue. Similarly with your new projects, find the purpose and it will give you the fuel to start, as well as to keep you going through the tough and mundane. Keeping your eyes focused on the end objective will give you means to the end, to coin a phrase. It is "Goal Setting 101", something we all know about but don't exercise enough in our personal lives. All of us have the big-dream type goal that is shrouded in mist and usually accompanied by the sound of harps and a choir... I'm talking about setting some realistic goals and putting in the purposeful effort to achieve them. Do some soul-searching, decide what it is you want to achieve and why. The why is probably the missing key for so many goals being missed or left along the road-side of life. You need the purpose to drive you towards the goal. Write down your goal in as much detail as you can. It may change along the way but you have to start with a clear target. Write done the "why". This must be straight from the heart and not based on what others want of you and for you. You can be motivated by others to a point but only your "why" can fuel you for the entire journey. 
As with any objective you must plan how you will reach your goal (no randomness allowed) and also set a date by when you think you can realistically achieve it. 
Revisit your "why" often, like going to a petrol station for a top up of fuel. For this reason, the "why" must be explicitly written down to remind you of your heart-felt desire for the goal. Re-reading your "why" should get you excited all over again and ignite the fires driving your engine when the toils of life have caused you to stall in your journey.

So much is changing and yet so much is still the same...

Unbelievably, another week has come to an end, another month is over and it is also our company's financial year end. 

So much is changing and yet so much is still the same. 

I don't know if I am just becoming less naive or just more aware or if there is truly a growth in the number of despicable people in this world. Around me, I see so many people being hurt by self-absorbed individuals with little or no regard for the other's emotions. There are so many people who believe their importance is paramount and nobody else's needs are considered in their pursuit of their goals.
Similarly, our country is in turmoil over the government with a constant barrage of abuse from opposition parties and disillusioned supporters. How will this chapter of South African history pan out? 
Internationally I read of extremist parties beheading groups of people for their faith and the rest of the world does nothing. I still can't believe that a person can actually cut off another's head! What hatred must there be to be able to perform such deeds. This is meant to be the "modern times"; look at the knowledge and the technology we have all around and yet we seem to be regressing in so many areas. Surely what we have learned over the years of war and killing, that no one really wins in the end. The loss of life, broken families, devastation of cities and infrastructure. The cost is immeasurable. As a child, I often thought that disputes should be settled over a game of chess. A war on the chess board, where the only casualties are the chess pieces. Each dispute is tabled with agreed stakes for the "war's" outcome. Whoever's King remains, is the victor and claims the agreed prize. Simplistic, I know but why can't it be? Of course those with the best chess players would become greedy and use their advantage to take more than what is fair. A super-power based on chess prowess if you will. I guess when there is a human element involved, the basic needs of survival and equality are justifiable to "fight" for but when the intolerance of others and hunger for more permeates the ranks of the leaders, that is when the real trouble begins. 

My Christian belief says that we should love one another, with all our differences. Loving, however does not mean accepting the injustices imposed on others. I can't for one instance imagine myself sitting down with ISIS members to have a cup of tea and a group hug. Somewhere in their life they have been brainwashed and lost their way. Probably no fault of their own but radical leaders who are passing down the same distorted beliefs and objectives enforced in their lives. They were not born hating others who did not follow Islam, they were taught. No-one is born a natural hater. As children we are innocent and open to everything. It's as we get older, the people we surround ourselves with, mould our character and alter our beliefs. This can be moulded to such an extent that radicalists evolve.

All is not lost though. There is a greater plan in all this confusion and turmoil. Desperate times, pulls people together; develops a spirit of unity and that is exactly what we need as a community, a country and as global citizens.

No short-cuts to Mars!

This week I learned about a planned mission to mars called Mars-One (http://www.mars-one.com/). Interestingly, the crew will comprise "normal" people, not the NASA academy astronauts. These people have volunteered to go. The catch? It's a one way trip, they don't have a way to come back to earth. They have decided to give up everything and pursue an absurd challenge of living in a capsule on another planet. I think it is incredible, and turn back the clock a few years, before I was married, and I would have signed up. Maybe it's a mid-life crisis state of mind driving that opinion to take on such a crazy life change, but I still think that it is a fascinating project and will be watching the progress with keen interest over the next 10 years when they expect the first crew to settle. 

What changes are you currently facing and what are you willing to give-up to achieve them?

Change is inherently a process of something being displaced or replaced with something else. The former condition is no more. It has been transformed into something different. Sometimes this process is uncontrollable and we are simply passengers in the transformation. In other instances we get to choose to make the transformation. We have to weigh up the former condition against the desired outcome and then decide which we desire more. It almost always involves giving up something familiar to make the transformation. It's often the value we place on the familiar and the fear of not achieving the goal that keeps us exactly where we are far longer than we should be. Personalities are so varied that some thrive on change and are frustrated by the "familiar", but I think the generalisation holds true. Those volunteer astronauts are giving up everything they are familiar with to pursue an incredible expedition that could potentially change the way we live. The cost versus the outcome has been weighed up and they have decided to go where many of the chosen applicants opted the other way, believing the sacrifice was too great. How do your current possible changes and sacrifices weigh up in your life?
The actual trip to Mars is 210 days, which is a long time to be in close habitat and that's what they have to endure before they even get to their destination. Even before that, they have to go through vigorous training to be equipped for the mission. It is still 10 years before they reach Mars. Similarly, our changes will require time and equipping to get the desired outcome. No short-cuts to Mars! Once again, these efforts have to be considered when embarking on the mission of change. Whether you are an A-type personality, where every last detail is listed and categorised, or a free-spirited creative-type, some consideration of the effort required to make the transformation must be made. I'm all for comparative tables, to-do lists and schedules when it comes to making decisions as I need to visualise the entire situation to make my choice. Use the tools and means best suited to you and the level of change required. No need for a full desk-top study to decide to change your blue shirt for a white one! However, choosing to buy a house, change of job or career, relationships would all require some due consideration. Make sure you have considered the sacrifice, effort required and the outcome very carefully. 
Don't fly to Mars on an impulse decision.

Leverage the Potential

How can I not start off by commenting on our country's state of the nation address proceedings last night? I think the way in which the event rolled out, painted a better picture of the actual state of the nation, than did the words used in the president's speech. Not a very inspiring affair at all. I must admit I did not get to watch the speech through to the end as my recording was cut short just after the land repatriation delivery, so I may have missed out on the uplifting gems...

After what I watched, I realise we have a long hard road ahead of us in South Africa. It will take a few men and women with Mandela-like attitudes, who want to serve the country rather than being served, to bring out the best in what our country and people have to offer. Until then, only a minority will actually benefit and the division and segregation we see today will continue to escalate. Not a very positive outlook I know, but a reality snapshot. I immediately had thoughts of my friends in Australia, and wonder if they have felt a bit torn about renouncing their South African citizenship to become Australian citizens or if watching last night's address reinforced that they had done the right thing and perhaps it is something I should be considering for the sake of my children? I love South Africa and its wonderful potential it has to offer. I love the lifestyle I have and the freedom to do the things I enjoy doing. I wish every citizen could enjoy the standard of living I have available but with almost a quarter of the population unemployed, that is a huge gap to close. Only by pulling the people of our nation together, not driving them apart, can we achieve common goals for the betterment of all. How then can we turn things around? Firstly the leadership of the country is what we have at the moment because they have been chosen by the people. When the people are educated and their eyes are opened to the corruption and misappropriation that is now the norm, leaders of suitable character can be elected. There are already those people in the ranks trying to make the difference we so desperately need. That is no quick process and I believe we have to pray for acceleration of that change in the leadership. We also need to stand together as communities for what is right. Bemoaning conditions and spreading negativity does not help any situation but only breads hopelessness. Do something to start making the difference you desire. Come alongside other like-minded people and as a group with aligned voices, surely your message will be clearer than a group of individuals all shouting differently. Once a group with a clear direction of positive change is heard, others will join until the message cannot be ignored and change will be brought about. The choice is yours to continue complaining in small groups or halt the negativity and turn it into an catalyst for change. As a country and as a people we have everything we need to be a very successful nation. We just need to leverage the potential that is already there. Here's to road ahead and strength to all who will join me on that road.

Your Flight Plan Has Been Rerouted

A good few years ago, my wife and I decided it was time to pack up and see what there was in the rest of the world. It wasn't because we had had any traumatic violent crime experience in South Africa, nor were we expecting the imminent outbreak of civil war, we purely desired change in our lives. Incredibly, change was provided, not in the format we were anticipating, but change nonetheless. After a long 24hr trip we found ourselves back in South Africa, feeling a bit like naughty children who had been caught out by our parents and had been sent to our rooms.

Why am I sharing this with you? Well, I believe at some point or other we all desire and even need change in our lives. The change we desire isn't always the change we receive. What you do in that circumstance is purely up to you. You can be miserable about your outcome, fight it and try and force the change you so desired to come about or accept where you have landed and make the best of your circumstances. I am not for a moment implying that we be complacent and accepting in all that happens to us, but just to recognise those situations that are beyond our control and work within them to extract the best possible outcome. Our relocation journey, took me out of a comfort zone and enabled me to enter the consulting world, where I have been for 13 years now. Do I regret what happened to us back then? Not for an instant. Do I wonder how different our lives would be now? Of course, but then I also wonder if  yesterday I had toast rather than muesli for breakfast, how different my day could have been...

Change is inevitable. Sometimes we initiate it and sometimes it is imposed on us. We are fortunate enough to be so versatile that we can adapt to our environment. It is the attitude with which we adopt that can determine the level of happiness through that change. Look for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, it is always there, you just have to keep on moving forward and looking. You may be only a few steps from the turning point, if you give-up now all the effort would have been in vain.

My journey is far from over and I am still expecting so much still to change. No matter how much I plan and map out this journey, there will still be those unexpected changes that have to be dealt with. I hope I am always able to see the positive in all the changes.

"Just 8 hours"

For most, a  typical workday is 8 hours. How many times have you started the day and said, “Just 8 hours to go…”? Admittedly, I have done it on occasions when there has been nothing really exciting or challenging to work on. I think every person, at every level has felt that way, even if they haven’t verbalised it.

In a way, a very real way, we are wishing away part of our lives and the time we are wanting to pass in an instant, can never be recovered.

Imagine if we had to pay a fee for each and every hour we lived. How different would our attitudes be? Say we had to pay an additional tax of R100 per hour to be at work, would we still be just wishing our R800 away because we didn’t feel like doing a particular task assigned to us? My approach would be, instead of feeling like I am wasting my money, I’d rather finish the activity as quickly as possible to be able to move onto something different and see my money spent on something I actually enjoy doing. I only have a finite supply of funds and would rather be spending it wisely.

Well, think of your bank account of time. It too only has a finite supply. As you make a withdrawal, it does not get replenished. You only have the allocation that you were born with.  The “just 8 hours” is a commitment that will not be refunded, so spend it wisely. Invest it in making your workday the best 8 hours possible. I’ll admit, that’s not always easy, especially after being on holiday and now returning to an office routine again, but ultimately, we get to choose the attitude we adopt to face those 8 hours.

I was also reminded that within the “just 8 hours”, how many opportunities there are to impact on other people’s lives. We can live in the wasteful clock-watching mode, waiting for knock-off time and just getting through in a survival mode, or we can be vigilant in identifying needs in people around ourselves. See where others need encouragement, a positive word may be just what they need to boost them through their 8 hours. So many people are suffering with hurt, depression, anger or rejection. See how you can make your “just 8 hours” into an investment by influencing your immediate surroundings. If you see your workday in that way, 8 hours can actually seem too little… 

Busyness as Usual?

The year 2015 is well on its way, holidays are over and routines are returning to normal. Or are they…?

How many people made new year’s resolutions?

A new year is a great milestone to close a chapter and start writing a new one. The end of 2014 could signify the signing off of whatever happened during the year and leaving it in the past. Face 2015 with a completely new outlook, new opportunities and restored vigour for life.

I write this after my first few days back at the office after 4 ½ weeks of leave and find myself gagging on the cliché –ness and hypocrisy of that line. I am exhausted already and although I haven’t counted the days till the first long weekend, the thought has crossed my mind. My relaxed holiday routine has been displaced by alarms, schedules, emails, deadlines and busyness as usual! It is a shock to the system. What it has brought about though, is a desire to make my busyness count. My efforts must make a difference. They must not be wasteful. My time is limited and every second I have available, I want to use to my fullest potential in whatever it is I am involved in. I want to find opportunities to add value to my family, my employer, to my friends and colleagues and if I am able, to the world. I guess these have been my goals for a while, but starting 2015 has stepped this desire up a gear and placed a few areas in focus that require a bit of action on my behalf, rather than just waiting and leaving them to chance. There are huge opportunities available to all of us, you just have to be actively seeking them. I enjoyed this quote from a book I read recently: “Most opportunities never announce themselves with trumpets and confetti. They’re easily missed, mistaken, or squandered. They can be scary. And they never come with a 110% money-back guarantee. They’re often nothing more than chances to improve on something other people are already doing. Opportunities are whispers, not foghorns.” Sean Patrick in his book about Nikola Tesla. 

Actively seek out the opportunities that surround you. They may not be fog horns or presented to you in flashing lights, but they are there. Don’t let your busyness keep you trapped in your current circumstances, pause, take a breath and look around yourself and turn those opportunities into something amazing.

"Five minutes left..."

Last night I thought back on the year and although I am extremely grateful for all that I have been blessed with, this past year has been a roller-coaster of great expectations and disappointments, both personally and career-wise. My frustration meter has reached its highest readings yet.

Although my character is one of patience and understanding, and able to tolerate a respectable amount of wear and tear before the scales tip, this year has put the scales under severe strain and it seems the negative side is weighing in quite heavily. I don't know if writing these motivational blogs has placed me into some sort of pressure cooker test to see whether I can practice what I preach or whether I will just boil over with the heat.

This year, I know that I have done a great deal for my children and for my wife. I can see how they value and need me with the love in their eyes and the way they squeeze me when they give me hugs.
I know I have become part of a team at church with my contribution to the music group.
I also know I have added value at work with my efforts.

So having said all that, why do I still feel like I have come up short this year?

Driving home last night I felt so relieved that my annual leave has begun but also disappointed in myself that I haven't accomplished enough and the year is up. It kind of felt like writing an exam and the invigilator calls, "Five minutes left", and you still have many questions unanswered on your paper. I feel a desperation to rush around and try and get something done before the "Time up" is called. The reality is, that with the time available this year, I won't get to all the questions. However, I do know that I don't only have until midnight on December 31st to complete the exam. I have the option of making the most of the time left and setting new goals for the new year. I have the privilege of spending time with my family, making memories that will last them a lifetime. I have health and fitness that enables me to do my running and cycling. I have my intellect to be able to plan for the next year. I have love, which surpasses all other circumstantial issues, from my God, my wife, my children, my family members and my friends.

"To those I may have wronged, I ask forgiveness.
To those I may have helped, I wish I did more.
To those I neglected to help, I ask for understanding.
To those who helped me, I sincerely thank you so much...."

Remember you don't only have five minutes left!

Keep On Being Remarkable

I jokingly said that the pirate exclamation “Arrrgh!” was going to be the sum total  of my blog today but to “practise what I preach”, I added a few more words…

“Arrrgh!”  pretty much sums up how I am feeling at this point in the year. Fatigue has set in, frustrations and challenges seem to coming from every direction and as close as that leave period is, it still seems miles away. I think there are a number of people, especially my colleagues, feeling the same way.

Despite any current disappointments, I still have so much to be thankful for and can reflect on a year filled with hard work and work that was done to a level, that I can be proud that it has my name on it. I have earned my wages this year. Looking around at government and other large parastatals, how many people can honestly say the same? It would be so easy to slip down the slope of mediocrity and join the ranks of those who do little and expect all, as seems to be the norm these days. Fortunately, I am not made of that cloth. I am not able to sleep knowing I haven’t done my share and sweated for my earnings. I need to feel the blisters on my hands and the ache in my muscles to know that I have contributed. Thankfully, the people I work with are like-minded, as is evident in the work they produce and the willing effort that they demonstrate. As a consulting firm, the people, their skills and their efforts are the only real assets the company has. Without them, all we have is a building with lifeless tools. Pausing on that for a moment, I think it is pretty amazing what is achieved by those people. Each, individuals in their own right but pulling together and achieving some remarkable results.

The fatigue and frustrations are evidence of a year of hard effort, but one last push to the finish line is what is required. Finish on a high note. Look for ways to close up shop for the holidays knowing you will return next year without outstanding to-do’s. Tick those last few critical items off your list so they don’t plague your mind while you meant to be on holiday. 

It’s going to be tough, but 1 or 2 weeks of being remarkable is all that’s needed and for those of you that I know that just means being yourself!

An Envelope

If you find an unexpected, unidentifiable envelope on your desk, are you the type of person that immediately suspects something negative like it’s another account to be paid or someone wanting another pound of your flesh? Or do you get excited thinking it’s good news, a party invitation,  bonus letter (touchy subject, I know), a secret admirer or just an encouraging letter from a friend telling you that you are doing really well despite the current circumstances? I think most of the time we are so used to mail bringing burden and added financial pressure, that we often just expect that that is the norm and every item of mail will bring the same. My Dad still sends us birthday cards as well as postcards from every trip he takes. It is such a pleasant surprise to get these in the mailbox in between the normal mail.

Coming back to that unassuming envelope on your desk, do you immediately open it as your curiosity is too much and you need to know what it contains? Or do you look at it for a while, imagining what it could possibly contain for you? Do you saver the thrill of the unexpected and draw out your own suspense? What if you open it and it is just a sweepstakes advertisement? Immediately opening the envelope places you in absolute certainty of the contents of the envelope and whether it contains something of significance or something of no value. The opposite extreme is if you never open the envelope, then the possibilities of what it could contain are endless, yet unattainable.

This is maybe a bit like a Schrödinger’s cat exercise, but perhaps is also a measure of certain character traits as well.

Impatient or impulsive vs cautious and persevering.

Imaginative and optimistic vs routine and negative. 

All this from a simple letter opening activity?

Perhaps see the envelope as a metaphor of the opportunities presenting themselves in your life. Have you been treating those same opportunities with the same regard as all those unassuming envelopes you have received? Expecting nothing more than another account or some junk mail advert, promising the world and delivering way short of your expectations.

Perhaps it’s time to check that mailbox with a bit more enthusiasm. Expect good things! Dream of the things you want to achieve and believe that they can happen. Open those opportunities expecting the best results. Don’t leave them unopened, not knowing if they ever contained your dream.

End or Beginning?

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” 

Winston Churchill

End of the Beginning: Means we have made a start and are now moving in a new direction towards our new goal. Well I would like to believe that is the case for most people. With the end of the year fast approaching I have looked back on the year and tried to recall what impact I have had. Where have I made a difference and where have I fallen short and can improve on for next year. A bit of reflection is always good as it can bring you back to point where you can take stock again. Revalue where your time has been spent or where it should have been spent. Also look at where you have sacrificed important moments for something of urgency but of lower significance. Take stock!

With that reflection, check your direction again and make sure it is where you need to be going or make the necessary adjustments. Sometimes we can be so busy fighting the daily battles, that we lose sight of the goal we have set and can be blown off-course. Check your compass, trim those sails and put the ship back on course. With a few working weeks left of 2014, make the final push and put in the effort to finish strong. Even if you don’t do it for your employer, do it for yourself. Be proud of the job you are doing and do it to your best abilities. As soon as “good enough” creeps in, it can perpetuate through everything you are involved in. It is also contagious. At a time when everyone is feeling burnt out and having very little of oneself to give, “good enough” finds easy rooting. The only way to combat it, is to make a conscious decision to be better with your own contribution. I believe this can be equally contagious if carried out with the right attitude.

So perhaps let this end of year period be a new beginning of greatness. Prove to yourself you have what it takes to finish strong and go into the holiday season knowing you have completed the year as best you possibly could have.

No Super Powers Required

So this week has been one of those where nothing seems to go my way and I just feel like crawling into my man-cave and hibernating till the season is over. So for a bit of fun and considering all the super hero movies that are around I would like to ask, “What super power would you like to possess?”
As a child I would amuse myself with idea of imagining which character I could emulate.

• I would imagine having super strength to be able to move anything my way.
• X-ray vision would have been exciting to see your friend’s skeleton and to be able to see what's happening in the next room.
• Of course flying was one of my favourites and truth be told is still a fantasy of mine.
• How about being super flexible and being able to stretch and mould your body into weird shapes to get through impossible obstacles?
• What about being able to shape shift and take on the appearance of anything you can imagine?

With the week that I have been having I have been wishing for the invisibility super-power to be able to just disappear.

Is that an evolvement from checking-out and going to my man cave? I don’t know, all I know is that it would be great to be able to just disappear for a while, go to a place of peace and rest and really check-out for a while.

I have realised that , sometimes, you don’t need to check-out to find the reset button. You just need to find where you belong and be all there at that place in that moment.

I was able to find that place this evening. It was loud and buzzing with people. Not the isolated island of peace and tranquillity I thought I needed, but somehow it was just the place I needed to be. Standing in a group of like-minded people singing songs of worship to God, really put into perspective what matters. The niggling events of the week dissolved into insignificance. From there I went on to do sound mixing as practice for Sunday. Once again the focus shifted from my inward worries onto the goal of achieving the right balance for each song. When it’s wrong, no matter how talented the musicians and singers are, it sounds harsh. Drums could be overpowering the vocals or the guitars so soft that the song could feel ‘flat’. But when the balance is just right, each component compliments the other. Getting there is my reset button. It is a reminder that I shouldn’t be invisible, that I can add value and that I do make a difference, without any super powers.

Have you identified your reset button? Sometimes you don’t know what it is until you’re in the moment. You just have to go out and be part of life to find your moment, your recharge point.

One thing is certain, staying in the cave will definitely not get you anywhere near it.

Mind You

I often ask what it would be like to be inside someone else’s head. To really feel how they feel, to connect with their thoughts and see how they think and rationalise their decisions and actions.

The movie genre I especially enjoy is the psychological thriller where a serial killer is profiled in order to predict his next move. I guess this is as close to being inside someone’s head space as we are going to get. I still dabble with the thought of actually being in that psychopath’s mind and seeing things as he does. Please don’t get me wrong, it  doesn’t mean I want to be that person, I just find it fascinating how there is an apparent complete disconnect with logic and a lack of empathy for their victims. Being a radically logical person, this lack intrigues me. On a similar plane but perhaps a few degrees lower, imagine experiencing the thoughts of our country’s politicians… It would be incredible to actually ‘see’ the thought process behind certain decisions and public statements that are made.

On a note closer to home, imagine being able to see through your spouse or partner’s eyes. You could understand intimately how they feel, what makes them happy, what makes them sad and more importantly, what they need from you at that particular moment.

What about  being inside someone’s mind who is struggling emotionally. Perhaps ‘seeing’ their thoughts would give you the insight into exactly how deep their hurt is and how hard it is for them to function normally. Perhaps this would enable a greater degree of patience to be exercised when dealing with their healing process.

What about children who are battling to socialise? Getting inside their heads may expose the anxiety they are feeling and help you coach them through those situations.

How about people you have just met? You would instantly get a snapshot of their true selves and gauge whether you wanted to continue a relationship with them. You would also know their impressions and thoughts of you! That may be awkward!

What about someone else being in your head? What would they see? It’s not a case of ‘if’, but a case of ‘how many’ thoughts would you like to be able to lock away in a vault so they couldn’t see them. I imagine, we should continuously, take stock of what is going on in our minds and purge anything that we would want to keep in that vault. Why would you want to dwell on such things anyway? Of course there are things that are personal and private, I’m not referring to those. I am referring to negative thoughts towards others, bad attitudes, lustful thoughts, envy and even hate. If we are honest, we all have these thoughts to a lesser or greater degree, depending on our experiences and frame of mind. It is key to keep these thoughts in check, as every action started out as a simple thought. Very little of what we actually do is based on instinctive behaviour. It is predominantly thoughts that have been processed into actions. Allowing a negative thought to remain in your mind gives it grounds to root itself and as you meditate on it, you provide it with the nourishment it needs to grow. The longer you wait to expel it, the deeper its roots would have taken hold and the broader its limbs would have grown, overshadowing any other positive thought growth. Do your weeding frequently and thoroughly. Don’t let even the smallest weed take root.

Perhaps the idea of mind access is a little ‘science-fictiony’ but the idea of walking in someone else’s shoes does warrant credit. We are far too quick to judge and criticise those around us without first considering the other person’s circumstances. Exercise a little patience and try and see the situation through their eyes first and then make a decision on how to act. Changing your approach from antagonising to mentoring or compassion will not only help that person but will also provide you with much greater satisfaction. Imagine that was the approach others had towards you…

Let It Go

Two things I get very frustrated with are, incompetence and arrogance. Unfortunately I constantly find myself surrounded by both and in some cases a combination thereof. From shop assistants to fellow drivers on the road to our government officials, we cannot avoid this frustration.

 

So, how does one deal with these frustrations in a way that won’t end up in a civil liability case? 

• Try to help and improve the situation by means of your skills, talents, knowledge and know-how.
• Provide alternative suggestions with logical and sensitive argument.
• Allow some time for logic to percolate.

 In the end there is only so much you can physically do to change this type of frustration. So do what you can and then let it go!

 

If you have done nothing to improve the situation, you haven’t earned the right to moan. If you have done all that is within your means, then don’t let the  negativity of moaning bring you (and others listening to you) down, let it go. Groaning will not help the situation nor will it help you.

 

I am reminded of the baboon that finds seeds within an ant mound, except the hole to bring out a fist clenching the seeds is too small. A flat hand was easy to put in but the broader fist was just too big to get out. The amazing thing was that even when faced with danger, the baboon couldn’t release the seeds to make his escape. He was trapped by his illogical need to hold onto the seeds even though he wouldn’t be able to get them out. In the same way we hold onto life’s frustrations which keeps us right where we are. Just like the baboon, we are unable to move on. If he just opened his fist and released those unattainable seeds, he could run off to safer and better places.

 

I encourage all of us to open our fists that are holding on so tightly to bitterness, hurt, frustrations, disappointments, anger. Drop those things that have us anchored in one place to be able to move on.

Knights in Shining Armour

I guess having children gives adults an excuse to watch all those great animation movies. It makes a pleasant change from the violence, crudeness and gratuitous sex that is in most movies these days.

What I see in the animations is that there a crisis has occurred, someone emerges as the hero, defeats the ‘badies’, saves the day and returns order once again. It is quite a generalisation but that is the general trend.  

The older animations usually had a Prince Charming-type who saved the day This handsome character on his powerful white horse would ride into town, have the princess instantly fall in love with him and then he would ride off and ‘slay the dragon’. This is obviously what people needed to see, that there is a hero out there who will ride into town and save the day. How convenient would that be? Issues would be so easy to resolve. Just wait for Prince so-and-so and he will rescue us.

To continue my reality-check theme of there being no magical genies, guess what? The reality is, there is rarely going to be a knight in shining armour that will incredibly appear, just when you need him the most.

Sorry, but most of the time you are going to have to face the dragons on your own. I don’t mean you have to have the battle as a lone soldier, I just mean you have to initiate and lead the mission. You can recruit as many allies and resources as you have access to. Surround yourself with friends who can support and lift you up, but ultimately you are going to have to do something yourself to get out of the crisis you find yourself in.

The more recent animations I have watched all have a seemingly weak, under-dog  character who steps up and takes on the ‘badies’. So, I presume the subliminal message is that even me as a seemingly weak, under-dog can actually slay a dragon. Maybe subliminal isn’t really the right word choice but for the children watching, I believe it is. The adults that watch recognise the under-lying message but often just relay it onto children in their development and character building.

Why only for children though? Surely we can also identify with the same under-dog hero, not really believing we have what it takes to get through the current crises. Ask yourself, “Will the dragon I face now, actually destroy me?”. Think back to the previous one you faced. You survived! Maybe a few scars but you survived. Now tackle the next one with the knowledge that you can and have defeated dragons before. Maybe you do have what it takes…