Forks, Junctions and Crossroads

So it's been a while since my last posting back in November 2016. I have often felt guilty about not keeping my writing going but contrary to my own advice, the busyness of life has gotten the better of me. Today I had a day all to myself. I made conscious decisions not to do anything I didn't want to do. Being a solitary traveller, I could afford the luxury of this self-absorbed selfish act(s). These opportunities don't come along too often so I recommend that you grab them when you can!

I slept in.
I didn't rush my hotel buffet breakfast.
I leisurely sipped my coffee and contemplated my plans for the day.
I decided on a scenic dune walk and made the hour and a half journey down the coast listening to my choice of music and driving at a pace that would usually frustrate me. I even moved onto the shoulder on occasion to let the speeders through so I didn't have to see their strained faces in my rear view mirror.
I took the walk and often looked around me to find myself completely alone. Not a soul for miles around. It was quite refreshing for me after the intensity of interactions during the work week. It was in this moment I could hear the inner workings of my introspective mind still stirring. The clamour of everyday life having been stilled by the sounds of nature. I could hear the wind. I could hear the birds. I could hear the waves crashing. I could hear my inner voice speaking again. It's not to say that it has been muted, but it usually just deals with the mundane issues and working through the never diminishing to do lists. Today it was speaking about deeper issues. Content that really matters. It thrust me into really thinking again. Reminding me that we should all be doing something purposeful and not just living. I had an excuse to put my life on hold while busy with emigration. My next excuse was that I was working on getting stability in this foreign land I've taken myself and my family to. I'm certain, I'll decide on anew one after that one too and never get back to a relevant purpose...

Every day we face forks, junctions and crossroads in our lives. Some are small in the impact they will have on your life and some are significant. Today I thought about some pretty major decisions I've made and pondered where the alternative road may have led me. If I hadn't married Cindy, where would I be and would I be alone? Would I even be alive? For certain, I wouldn't have found someone with strength to love and support me as she does.  My voice told me that it was actually meaningless to consider the alternative road, as there would never be any definitive portrayal of that non-existent journey to compare. However, I do believe that thinking that there could have been an alternative, that it hi-lights the very real moments in your life that you wouldn't want erased. Those are not always the best times, they can be moments of tragedy and pain that you have worked (are working) through that remind you that you are an over-comer. The memory-reel spins backwards and forwards to various moments in time. Some memories bring warmth to my soul, some tears and some embarrassment and guilt. Each are centred on a junction in my life where I made a decision.

The junctions are places where life defining moments can be made. Are they going to be the ones you want to remember or want to forget?