Fellow Travellers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EjTIxEBYac&feature=share

I received this poem the other day about our lives being symbolised by a train journey and the passengers being the people we meet along the way. I guess everyone can relate to it in at least a few ways.

What struck a chord with me, was how people pass through your life. You don't know how long they will stay and you don't know how they will impact your life and you theirs. Some things are certain, the train will start a journey and the journey will end. Passengers will get on and passengers will get off. The quality of the time together and the type of impact is decided by  you. You decide with whom and how you interact. It is true that you can’t interact with every single passenger and even those you do interact with is done so at varying levels of connection or relationship.  Some may be really intimate with whom you may share your deepest secrets and dreams, and others may be purely functional, like the ticket collector, for example. Both are necessary, so remember to respect them for the roles they play in your journey.  What about those people you don’t meet or those you have the briefest encounters with? How much of an influence can you have on them? Show them your best side. Give them a warm smile and say ‘hello’. It may be just the thing they need at that precise moment to lift them up. You may have been position in that exact spot at that exact time to do something as simple as smile but is something that only you could do, choose to do it. It can never do any damage but can bring about so much joy, it’s worth doing…

What about the people we love and lose along the way? Lost or could lose through death or a choice of different stations and destinations? Do you chose not to love again and expose yourself to potential loss or do you hold onto the good, and hope for a future of even more love?

The train we chose has a heading of unknown destination. We do know that it will end its journey at some point and we have dreams and visions of the destinations along the way. Depending on our circumstances we may chose a slight detour and switch tracks to a new dream. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Sometimes the train is stationary to take on fuel and water or much needed repairs. The same is true for our lives, when we need time out to be refreshed for the next leg of the journey.

Be ready, as the journey will have mountains and dark valleys but remember there are also beautiful landscape views at the top of the mountain and an incredible ride down the other side. The valleys contain treasures and hidden secrets that wouldn’t have been otherwise found. The journey also has spectacular sunrises and sunsets, moments that will always be remembered. There will be fellow passengers that will be locked in your heart, whether sitting next to you or moved on to other destinations. Cherish the journey and make the moments.

True To Yourself?

How do you portray yourself to the world and how much of what you display is the real you?

Do you conform to what the world expects of you or are you true to yourself?

I understand that there are situations where behaviour has to be adapted or controlled accordingly. For instance, you don’t behave in the same manner at a new year’s party as you do in a corporate board meeting and I do understand that moods and emotions also alter one’s behaviour. What I am referring to is the underlying character and building blocks of your self, the real you. What thoughts you have in your head, what you truly believe, who you are when you are alone.  These are what should not be compromised at any cost, just to suit expectations or to reach a current objective. Any change to your foundation or core will only weaken your overall being. You are who you are and if you have to change that to please someone else, then the truth is that they are not worth pleasing! If you are not that person they are looking for then move on and find out where you are appreciated for your true character. This is not only true in relationships but also in your place of work, community life, cultural groups, etc… Don’t compromise your true self as you are short-changing yourself and those around you with in-effect  – a lie, a façade, a disguise. It may work for a time but eventually the effort to keep up the front will be exhausting and the cost to yourself will outweigh the reward every time, guaranteed.

Being true to yourself does not mean that you are inflexible and opposed to new experiences and ideas. It means going through those experiences with an open mind and filtering them through your core beliefs. Keep those that fit and allow those that don’t align with your core filter, to pass through but now enriched with a new knowledge and understanding of what that experience is about.

Often those that are true to themselves are considered strange, unusual or weird, because they challenge the norm of worldly expectation, not out of rebellion but because they know who they are and are actually comfortable with themselves. I say they are the normal ones and the rest are the strange robots and clones created by the world in their masses. All sounds a bit science-fiction, but if we don’t stop and reassess who we truly are, why we are here and where we are heading then welcome to clone city. We were created as individuals with such unique characters, we need to foster an environment where everyone is valued for their differences. Let that be an objective in your heart: to not jump to quick judgement of someone because they are not the same as you. Experience that difference, you may be surprised what you find. The more we allow this to happen, the more accepting people will be towards one another and the freer people will be, to be themselves.

Trials and Tests

There is an idiom ‘manners maketh man’. While this is still very true, I can add to that and say ‘trials and tests maketh man’ or maybe more so, the way we handle those trials and tests that life throws at us.

• Do we runaway, never facing the issues, ever hopeful that they will just go away?
• Do we stick our head in the sand and pretend there is nothing going on and let the trial run its course uncontrolled?
• Do we wallow in a pit of misery, not able to get up and move forward?
• Do we take on a victim stance, blaming everyone and everything around us for the situation?
• Or do we man-up, put on our armour and go to war with the issue?

Tests will always be a part of life, it is the nature of this world and the people on it. Living in solitude in a cave on a mountain will still bring you strife as will living in a community in a first world country. How are you responding to the trial or test you are facing?

Firstly, understand that the trial will move on but the impact it has can be influenced by the stance you take. As impossible or as ridiculous as this sounds, embrace it, own it and identify what it actually is. A doctor cannot fully treat an illness without the acknowledgment that it is there and knowing what it is. Imagine trying to run away from or ignore a burst appendix, the impact and consequences could be tragic. Be sure, the issue is not going to go away so rather, tackle it head-on. Get to the root of the issue and start working towards getting it fixed. This may be painful, embarrassing, take a huge measure of courage and humility but will ultimately resolve the issue in the best possible manner. Will there be casualties? Of course. That is the unfortunate element of a war; someone will go through suffering, someone could be hurt and friendships may be lost. In the same attitude, war can bring people together to support one another through the pain, new bonds can be developed and if built through an adversity can actually become the strongest bonds of friendship.

Secondly, identify your role in the situation. How have you participated in arriving where you stand right now? You certainly did not arrive without participation, this is your life after-all! Having said that, I do acknowledge that life does throw some curve-balls where a truck can come out of nowhere and take you out while you are pedalling down the road of life. Even it that, there are still contributions that positioned you/me on that particular road at that particular time. Decisions that appeared sound at the time and still appear sound now that if the event was rewound and relived, those same decisions would probably be made again. This is because the actual outcome and the small decisions that got you/me there seem so detached and unrelated, however they still got me there. I have said it before, own your actions. This is important in rectifying the current situation and identifying when you are heading down that same road again in the future.

Aim where you want to be. If you know where you are, you know what is wrong, now set your sights on where you need to be otherwise you will stay in your state much longer than is necessary. Equip yourself with whatever you need to get to your destination. This may be a physical move out of your current circumstances, cutting out all that is toxic in your life, surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends, getting training or skills to be able to move forward, finding your armour.

Start the battle and start it now. Every journey that is really worthwhile, will be difficult. Be prepared for battle. Don’t call it to you, but be ready for it. Don’t procrastinate, now is the time to start moving forward. Every moment you wait, is a moment lost to the trial. It’s a moment you are not going to get back. Reach out a hand and get up from the being knocked down. Believe it will get better.

Finally, if you have ever been knocked down before, look around and offer a hand to those who need it, I can guarantee that you won’t have to look very far.

Change or Lose a Potential Success

I have previously written about discovering your passion and finding what it is that gets you going.

I find it easy to identify that which turns me off, but so much harder to really find that niche that gives enough of a challenge to stimulate my senses but not so much to stretch me beyond breaking point.

Find somebody in their niche and you will find somebody satisfied. The rest of us seem to be striving to get through what's on our plate or just pacing ourselves to keep going through the mundaneness of the daily motions.

To move on or rather out of those scenarios, requires a conscious decision to change, an attitude of faith that there is something better and a commitment to follow through on the decided actions.

Change is scary. There is a sense of comfort in the status quo, no matter what that status may be. It's that fear, that often keeps us where we are.

Change can be exciting; crossing that threshold from the status quo to embrace your intended destiny.

Change comes with a requirement to open your mind to new opportunities, experiences and interaction with new people. Change doesn't mean leaving everything you know behind, but rather an opportunity to shed the parts of your life you need to, to make your life 'greater'. Limit bringing along the baggage and negativity that pulls you down from where you should be. Baggage can be in the form of a bad experience, a poor track record/history, toxic people and relationships, poor self-esteem or just a plain bad attitude. The important thing is to take with you is the lesson learnt from that experience, so as not to repeat previous mistakes.

The reality is, that sometimes a change-decision results in a complete disaster although every possible mitigating action was implemented. There is always risk in change. No one can convince me otherwise. There is no 'sure-thing' in this world. However, I do believe there is a 100% chance of loss if we don't take risk and make change-decisions. We lose out on our potential success by staying exactly where we are. I don't for one instant say throw caution to the wind and start something without the right planning and consultation. Remember 'we can't all be Bruce Springsteen'! I have certainly made decisions and done things I regret, even some I am embarrassed of and I wish I could 'undo' all of them. Such is life and no amount of wishing or dreaming will ever change my past. I have to accept responsibility for my actions and move on. There's even a lesson in that; every decision and action you make comes with accountability and taking responsibility for your actions for both the favourable and disastrous outcomes. Don't hide behind blaming others or circumstances. Own your actions and decisions. Hopefully then, a bit more consideration will go into each choice and action you take, recognising that however the change-decision pans out, it is still autographed by you and is represented in full by your real character.

Check the Attitude

I always enjoy observing people and how they act and interact. So this week’s thought is slightly different, in that it is aimed at team dynamics rather than personal goals or development. I still believe there is something to be taken to heart for everyday casual interactions as well.

Some people are bold and confident while others are more reserved, quiet and hold back to test the waters before venturing into focus. These characteristics also change depending on the environment and the people they are with. You may say, "That is obvious," and you would be absolutely correct. My thought is whether we can control or choose the attitude we adopt in various circumstances or whether it is something instinctual that is "built-in" based on our life journey experiences and exposures.

I believe it is yes to both sides of those questions.

Our attitude does adapt to our current mood, our environment, the comfort or discomfort we feel with the people surrounding us, our physical health and even our financial health. Put yourself in the same situation with different emotional circumstances or people you are friends with as opposed to a group of directors and your attitude will likely take on  a different flavour.

If we left our attitude on full 'auto-pilot' we may find ourselves in tricky situations more often than not. Auto-pilot attitude has little, to no diplomacy and places your needs as primary priority. So, if allowed to operate without checks, could offend and will definitely exasperate those around you.

There are those who allow their attitudes to brazenly push through unchecked or without, seemingly, a care of the impact it makes. I'm sure we all know those individuals who take centre stage, know everything, talk over others as if only their ideas or concepts are worthy of being heard. No consideration is given for 'the small guy' who may possibly, just possibly, have something of worth to offer, an original gem. That environment of the bullish superstars may be enough of a deterrent for the individual to just bury that gem deep down, feeling inadequate in the blinding self-generated light of the stars of the show. What a loss! (To everyone.)

My thought for this week then, is to monitor the attitude in yourself and in others. Be ever mindful of your actions and the impact they have on others. If you find yourself treating others as if they were less important or of little consequence; check it, take auto-pilot off and adjust your flight controls. If you notice that there are people being subdued, step in and give them their opportunity to bring their contribution to the table. It may just be a gem!

No-one is more or less important than the next and their contribution should be considered equally important.

People are different and personalities are equally varied. That is what makes interactions interesting. It is your decision to adopt the right attitude to get the most value or enjoyable experience out of each interaction. Check your attitude...

Half-victories and Incomplete Successes

This week has been a long, short week with some pretty impossible work deadlines requiring some extra work to be put in. Despite my best efforts I failed to complete my assignments although I made major strides in comparison to previous weeks achievements. These half-victories or incomplete successes can either beat you down or you can rise up and keep going until you have completed ‘the race.’ I know I put my best into my work and can honestly say I really couldn’t have done much more than what I had achieved. For me then, I can still be satisfied with my efforts and my incomplete success.

What are your half-victories or incomplete successes?

Have you given up on them out of despondency or fear of complete failure?

Tell someone you trust about what you have been working towards and how you see your unfinished plan. Someone with external perspective can maybe see just how far you have actually come and see how close you are to success. With their knowledge of your plans, they can also encourage you along the rest of the journey. Having moral support also gives you another sense of accountability to push you when you feel like giving up.

We all have career, family, health, travel and relationship aspirations that we have buzzing around our heads. Some are clearer than others as we have spent more time contemplating and planning how to achieve them. Others are vague as we have considered them distant, almost unattainable dreams. All of them are your dreams, and worthy of exploring. They were placed in your heart as something important to you, so don’t dismiss any one of them as impossible. I recommend writing them down in a journal, depositing the dreams of your heart into a written list. List the big dreams and the small goals, don’t think anything is too big or too trivial to be listed. Then expand on each one, giving a bit more detail and also estimate a time frame by when you would like to have achieved each of the goals. (I have done this with a few things and have been astounded by the results.) Revisit the written list from time to time and add to it as you develop new dreams. Tick off the ones you have achieved and remind yourself of what dreams are inside of you but maybe have been stifled by the busyness of surviving.

Realising goals achieved is a very fulfilling process and develops a momentum of its own.

Life experiences change your desires, sense of purpose and your priorities. This will inevitably change what your heart dreams of. Perhaps your career aspirations change from a corporate ladder climber to that of a content employee when your first child is born and time at home is valued above completing a contract long after the office closing time.  Maybe a heart problem changes your primary focus onto your health and then diet and fitness becomes a priority. Relationships and friendships also change depending on seasons in your life. People who once seemed important, may no longer play a role in your affairs and become insignificant.

Go back to your list and make the changes, as your heart guides you. Remember the time you have is right now, this very moment. Don’t get caught up in the things you don’t control or can’t change. What is done is done, look forward and make the future the way you dream it to be. Keep going with those half-victories and incomplete successes.

What Does it Take to Finish the Race?

Watching the comrades marathon always stirs my emotions. I have enormous respect for every person standing at the start. It has been a long journey to even just get to stand amongst the other starters. They have committed themselves to the goal, done the training, made the qualifiers and most important of all, believed that they could do the marathon. Nobody would attempt something like that, if they did not believe that by the end of the day they would have crossed the finish line. Would you try something believing you are going to fail before you've even started?

Long before the start, each runner had the vision of finishing the race and holding that medal. That belief, is what kept them going.

What is your finish line? Do you believe enough in yourself to reach it?

Each one of us have our own marathons in some form or another and each requires the same steps to complete it;

• a dream (vision),
• a faith that it can be achieved,
• preparation/planning and
• action.

Without one of those steps, the 'marathon' will likely end in failure or at best be more difficult to complete than it could have been.

Some people run ‘the marathon’ alone, others in small groups and then some in large buses. Everyone is different and require different support and motivation. Some need the solitude and the inner voice to spur them along the route. Those in groups enjoy the conversation and pepping of one another to keep going. One thing is true, when we hit a difficult patch and find ourselves in trouble, we all need that helping hand to lift us up and get us going again. No matter how strong your belief or faith is, there will be times of doubt and that's when someone else can make a difference. Whether you are 'running' or a 'spectator' when your spirit is strong you can be a supporter and lift someone's arms when they are down. Imagine how incredible this world would be if everyone adopted that attitude. Look out for those battling, take a moment and lift them up. One day it may be you looking for the hand up again.

We can't all (and don't need to) win the 'marathon' as long as we have participated as best we can, both in our individual level of performance and as a supporter of those around us. Look back at how far you have come and make sure you can be proud of the journey you have taken. Make a conscious decision today, to make the rest of the journey something you want to remember and share with your friends and family.

Believe you can, and you are on your way to achieving your goal.

Will You Find The Enthusiasm

So this week, I feel a bit of pressure after “going international” last week. Blog views from UK, Germany, USA, Australia and of course SA. Thanks to those who have encouraged me.
 
My mind has been filled with so many thoughts, words, ideas, but none have really struck that chord that vibrates to my core as the Friday Message. Perhaps then that is the message, despite a lack of warm fuzzy feeling, we must press on in our commitments. This is quite apt to the current workplace atmosphere, where our workload is low and the decay of morale quite evident. I doubt if there are many of us sitting with that warm fuzzy feeling and all aglow basking in the glory of our chosen career. I could have chosen to post-pone my Friday Message until I felt the inspiration fill me or decide to put my hand to the plough and do what I am meant to do. Similarly, in our workplace we have a choice, to either post-pone our efforts until the enthusiasm finds us or we put ourselves to work and build the enthusiasm from within. I hear my own brain questioning the sanity of finding any enthusiasm to generate pages and pages of technical documents and lists. You have to remember that these seemingly insignificant items all have key parts to play in the greater picture. Without one of the building blocks, the structure will collapse. The walls rely on the foundations, the roof relies on the walls. Even the greatest sky-scraper relies on that first shovel of dirt to be turned.  Just make sure the shovel is working in the right place, but that is a whole different message.

Enthusiasm is contagious! If you work with someone who is constantly excited about their work, you will feed off their enthusiasm and develop an interest in the subject. Your own enthusiasm will build and eventually feed someone else. Unfortunately the same is true for negative behaviour. Avoid the negative, stop them in their steps and turn the topic positive. ("I'll have mine sunny-side up please!") 

My other advice is to always look for the fun. I believe that in everything there is humour to found. I probably overdo this, to the extent that sometimes, I'm not taken seriously but that's the way I'm wired. Anyway, life is far too short to be taken so seriously.

We must laugh more often. The sound of my children laughing must be the most beautiful sound in the world. We were created unique in our ability to laugh, so why not exploit that human trait to the fullest. Everyone's laugh is as unique as the person itself. Express yourself, don't hold back!
 

I now find myself, battling to wrap this message up, the enthusiasm has found me!

I hope you give it a try too...

Seize The Moment

Flight, fleeting, temporary.

Value, savour, cherish.
Live, give, love...

With the recent passing of colleagues, my thoughts have turned to how temporal our time on earth actually is and the importance of every single moment. We cannot afford to waste a day, hour, minute or even a second on something that is not adding value or is bringing our lives down. We should rather be entertaining thoughts of positivity, focusing on the good that surrounds us and bringing out 'the greater' in all we do and in the people we meet. Think about the beauty of a sunrise and what a privilege it is to be alive and challenge yourself to what difference you can make in the world today. The whole ‘random act of kindness’ / ‘pay it forward’ philosophy can, and does work.

I dream of a world where everyone has respect for one another, no matter what our creed, colour, perceived status, tribe or nationality we gravitate to. We all have a life that has been gifted to us with equal value. No person was created more important than the next. Circumstances and experiences may differ but we all have a unique role to play on this earth. We can choose how to make the best use of that role.

I don't know what you believe happens when your time on earth comes to an end, but with absolute certainty I know that one day, your body will cease to function and your spirit will move on. It is then too late to say or do those things you were always intending to; putting them off for another time, when you feel more comfortable or maybe when it seems more appropriate.

Do it now, seize the moment! There is no more appropriate time than right now.

Pick up the phone and make that call. Tell your partner you love them. Apologise for hurts caused. Reconcile damaged relationships. Sometimes you may get kicked in the teeth but brush yourself off and keep on moving. You at least tried, and even if your attempts failed you can carry on in the knowledge your slate is clean.

Remember, you may not have the opportunity tomorrow...

 

Regards

 

Bradley Welch