Friday, 11 July 2014

Trials and Tests

There is an idiom ‘manners maketh man’. While this is still very true, I can add to that and say ‘trials and tests maketh man’ or maybe more so, the way we handle those trials and tests that life throws at us.
  • Do we runaway, never facing the issues, ever hopeful that they will just go away?
  • Do we stick our head in the sand and pretend there is nothing going on and let the trial run its course uncontrolled?
  • Do we wallow in a pit of misery, not able to get up and move forward?
  • Do we take on a victim stance, blaming everyone and everything around us for the situation?
  • Or do we man-up, put on our armour and go to war with the issue?
Tests will always be a part of life, it is the nature of this world and the people on it. Living in solitude in a cave on a mountain will still bring you strife as will living in a community in a first world country. How are you responding to the trial or test you are facing?

Firstly, understand that the trial will move on but the impact it has can be influenced by the stance you take. As impossible or as ridiculous as this sounds, embrace it, own it and identify what it actually is. A doctor cannot fully treat an illness without the acknowledgment that it is there and knowing what it is. Imagine trying to run away from or ignore a burst appendix, the impact and consequences could be tragic. Be sure, the issue is not going to go away so rather, tackle it head-on. Get to the root of the issue and start working towards getting it fixed. This may be painful, embarrassing, take a huge measure of courage and humility but will ultimately resolve the issue in the best possible manner. Will there be casualties? Of course. That is the unfortunate element of a war; someone will go through suffering, someone could be hurt and friendships may be lost. In the same attitude, war can bring people together to support one another through the pain, new bonds can be developed and if built through an adversity can actually become the strongest bonds of friendship.

Secondly, identify your role in the situation. How have you participated in arriving where you stand right now? You certainly did not arrive without participation, this is your life after-all! Having said that, I do acknowledge that life does throw some curve-balls where a truck can come out of nowhere and take you out while you are pedalling down the road of life. Even it that, there are still contributions that positioned you/me on that particular road at that particular time. Decisions that appeared sound at the time and still appear sound now that if the event was rewound and relived, those same decisions would probably be made again. This is because the actual outcome and the small decisions that got you/me there seem so detached and unrelated, however they still got me there. I have said it before, own your actions. This is important in rectifying the current situation and identifying when you are heading down that same road again in the future.

Aim where you want to be. If you know where you are, you know what is wrong, now set your sights on where you need to be otherwise you will stay in your state much longer than is necessary. Equip yourself with whatever you need to get to your destination. This may be a physical move out of your current circumstances, cutting out all that is toxic in your life, surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends, getting training or skills to be able to move forward, finding your armour.

Start the battle and start it now. Every journey that is really worthwhile, will be difficult. Be prepared for battle. Don’t call it to you, but be ready for it. Don’t procrastinate, now is the time to start moving forward. Every moment you wait, is a moment lost to the trial. It’s a moment you are not going to get back. Reach out a hand and get up from the being knocked down. Believe it will get better.

Finally, if you have ever been knocked down before, look around and offer a hand to those who need it, I can guarantee that you won’t have to look very far.

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