Friday, 11 December 2015

11 12 15

11   12   15
That's today's date and the time has passed by so quickly that it feels like the year has skipped out a few months in its sequence as well. My hope is that I wrap-up this year with the ability to look back and see a year that has passed, filled with moments of laughter, love and joy, of making a difference. I'm sure we could all recall many negative events that have happened but I choose now, to diminish their importance in my mind and elevate the moments that bring me my peace and happiness.

I keep getting a song on my playlist that has the line something like:
"You can occupy my every sigh, You can rent a space inside my mind At least until the price becomes too high ..."

Well what is too high a price, for you?

I think the real estate value of my mind is extremely high and any space that is occupied should be used on worthwhile causes rather than brooding over problems that I could likely never solve anyway.

I'm going to be brief today, but hope that you consider very carefully the for rent space you offer out
today. Think twice before allowing the space to be occupied by unwanted tenants. You are after all, the landlord and have full jurisdiction over your land. In fact I'd go so far as to take the "For Rent" sign down and revert to a "By Invitation Only" policy.

Friday, 4 December 2015

The Bucket Theory

So three weeks to Christmas! Today sees the second of three of our work Christmas lunches. Maybe it's just anti-social me, but honestly who needs three parties where one would suffice? Perhaps next year the money allocated for these functions could be far better utilised. There are so many deserving causes in desperate need of support. Think for a moment, if all corporates adopted a strategy of giving during the Christmas period (image that for a novel idea). How many destitute people would benefit instead of making us fat cats even fatter! ....Just a seed I had to plant.

Let me just put it out there, I abhor waste. Waste in any form really gets my blood boiling. Wasting my time has to be one of my top pet peeves as I value my time as one of the most precious resources available to me. Money is great, but my time out ranks all forms of wealth as we only have finite time available to us and we have to use it wisely. Do not waste a single second that is gifted to us. Having come close to the precipice of death, I am acutely aware of how fragile life is. In a moment a life can be extinguished and that is an eternal event that cannot be reversed. That sounds rather dramatic, but it is!

While you can, make wise choices, be careful with your actions and even more so with your words.
My Mom always used to tell us, "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all!" I often wonder if that's why I am so sparing with my words...

Spend time with those who make you feel alive and fill your life bucket with love. In return you should strive to do the same for others. It is the Christmas season so people are generally in a festive and celebratory mood, so now should be the easiest time to start filling other people's buckets. What is in your bucket does not last forever and is depleted over time. The only way to fill it, is to fill other people's buckets. It sounds counter-intuitive, but by pouring out your love, you make space for a fresh filling of new love. It sounds very "new-agey" but as a person who goes through cycles of isolation and then being social, I can attest to the validity of this process. I feel fine in my cave for a while enjoying the peace and distraction-free environment, but as my life-bucket drains, nothing fills it like the love from another person. I am fortunate to have an amazing wife and two awesome boys who constantly fill my bucket regardless of my disposition at the time. Believe it or not, but I can be quite moody and have serious bouts of "the grumps". Thank you for always being my bucket fillers.
I hope at times, I also add to your (and other's) buckets too. Go out and fill some buckets in addition to the Christmas stockings.

Friday, 27 November 2015

Turn Down the Panic!

'Twas the time before Christmas, and all through the land
Everyone was bustling including the mice!

It just seems like the crazy time when everything has to be finished before the year closes off. Everyone is working at 110% effort to meet their deadlines so stress levels are at an all-time high. You can almost smell the volatility in the air. Incidents that would previously have gone by almost unnoticed, ignite the situation into a raging inferno. Turn the panic level down. Dial the temperature down. Focus on what needs to be done and execute it with a logical systemic approach. If things arise that interfere with your plan, assess their importance and put it into the appropriate action container:

  1. Pass it, 
  2. Park it, 
  3. Process it.
Letting the originator of the interference know, exactly where they are in the priority queue is very important too. They can then decide if they need to take alternative action with their request and/or back away from you very, very slowing without making any sudden movements!

Turn down the panic! How great would it be to start your holiday break already feeling calm? It's usually only when you are well into the second week of leave that the blood returns to the burnt out shell and you start to feel relaxed and human again. But then it's into Christmas, New Year's parties and suddenly you're back at work again. I'm not saying, take your foot off the gas and cruise to end of year but rather, keep up the effort, but in a calm and structured manner. 

I can hear the snorts and jeers out there. 
"You have no idea what I have to get through in the time available!
You are probably right, but then again you have no idea what I have to get through too

The best attack is with well laid plans. Organisation and structure. Turn down the panic! It doesn't assist in achieving your goals in any way. Your calm and demonstration of organisation could actually assist those working around you to do the same. Calmness is as contagious as panic! Choose what you want to spread. #TurnDownThePanic





Friday, 20 November 2015

Listen To Your Voice

As a non-confrontational sort, I tend to avoid conflict as much as possible. I prefer to try and please everyone, even to the point of my own detriment. This week, I've had this thought of writing about tough choices we have to make and how many different voices we listen to in order to make the final choice. Yesterday I happened to be clearing out emails and happened across a blog that has been hovering in my inbox for a while. It was titled "Discover The Power of Your Voice" by Allison Vesterfelt. I thought it would be an article about confidence, public speaking and finding your literal voice! What it was, was actually echoing my current writing thoughts of decision making and empowering your own voice such that you can make your own decisions and be happy with it. (I encourage you to read her article as it is more than just my one pager and I think everyone could get something out of it.)

"How can you possibly measure your success or progress or integrity in life if you’re measuring by other people’s standards? The measuring stick is constantly shifting, depending on your circumstances, your situation, your surroundings, or who is doing the asking. You feel pulled between your boss, your mom, your friends, your spouse, and maybe, just maybe, some very quiet, inner-voice. And at some point, you will let one or more of them down. You cannot possibly meet so many expectations." - Allison Vesterfelt

How true is that! All those voices "helping" and "guiding" us to make a decision but ultimately it is you who has to live with the outcome. Perhaps we should be giving a bit more authority to our own voice. I know I am facing decisions that has the potential to affect a number of people and boy do I have a lot of people's voices in my head making their point of view and opinions known. Even in my mind, I still try to keep the peace and try and see how I could satisfy the requirements of every one of those voices. I realise now that it is impossible to do that, all the time. I am going to sacrifice myself and my power to decide what I want for myself and my family. I won't (can't) ignore the voices completely, and there will be times (many) when I will need an external opinion or a firm direction-shifting rebuke to keep me going in the right track, but I have my own voice and I trust what it tells me.

How well do you know yourself? It seems a bit of a strange question but is quite pivotal in understanding how you deal with situations and why your inner voice is speaking to you as it does.

According to your voice, are you someone who always has things happen to you or do you take it on the chin and say to yourself, "Let's deal with it!" ?

If you believe things just happen to you, there is an underlying belief that you have no control of circumstances, whereas the opposite also holds true. If you make life happen, you are in control.
How you react to situations is also within your control. You have the power to change your response to situations. You can choose to remain in a place of anger, frustration or depression or you can accept your lot and decide to make the most of your circumstances and plan your way forward.

Listen to your voice and learn to actually hear what it is telling you. You must process what it is saying. If what it is telling you, is not going to improve your situation, rethink it. Re-program it to take out the negativity. Eventually you will learn to trust that what it is telling you, is the best for you and it will be.




Friday, 13 November 2015

Intolerant of Tolerance

I am becoming rather alarmed at the response to the graphic social media posts of the images of criminals gunned down in the pursuit of their "trade". The posts are ones of cheers and celebration. I don't know what bothers me more, the increasing number of these posts or the fact that I am cheering and celebrating with each one. I can look at the image of a man's lifeless body, lying in a pool of blood and feel absolutely no compassion for him. I feel almost a sense of relief that there is one less criminal out there that could threaten the lives of my loved ones. How have I (we) degenerated to such an extent that I am celebrating and even desiring more death, even if it is of the criminal persuasion. I am being brutally honest here but in the light of the subject being discussed, that is all that is warranted. I pride myself in being a very calm and level-headed person so finding myself caught up in this just sets the thermometer of the frustration level that is bubbling in our country. If I, as the calm and sensible type, am reaching the point of wanting to take up arms myself, then how much more are the radicals and impulsive types boiling over with intolerance and even more severe thoughts of violence. How long before the scales of reason and sensibility are toppled by rage and frustration? Even the fireworks have sparked new levels of intolerance because of selfishness and disrespect, on both the for and against groups. We have become intolerant of being tolerant. We all want what we want and screw everybody else. (There was a more emotive word in my mind but I decided to edit it out.)

How did we get here? More importantly, how do we get out of this situation?

It's easy to point a finger and blame the government for the turmoil we find our country in. A change in government will definitely be a move in the right direction but it is not the government's duty to control our emotions. What they do will certainly influence how we feel but each one of us has the power to decide how we react. It is within each one of us to change our perspective and consider our neighbour as we consider ourself. When this starts becoming commonplace amongst all of us then I believe we will see radical transformation. While we are still only looking out for ourself, I am sorry to say that I don't believe there is much hope.
It is going to be a very long and trying road to eradicate the heat under the cauldron of frustration and anger and to heal from the damage that has already been done. However, the longer we delay embarking on that journey, the more we will see loss of life and the greater the amount of healing that will be required.

God, please heal our land.

Friday, 6 November 2015

Change the Channel

I am a really slow reader so when I choose a book, it's a bit like a marriage commitment. I have to be really drawn into the content to persevere through to the last page. If it becomes a chore requiring more effort than enjoyment, the book becomes yet another place holder on my bookshelf.
I have just started a new self-help book and it is echoing the sentiments of my recent blogs so has piqued the attention of my internal antennae. The gist of the book is learning how to realise that "Life Loves You", the title of the book, and that it is you who can change your life to an amazing experience beyond a mere existence. I won't regurgitate the author's work here but when something really stands out I will certainly borrow the concept and add my slant on it.

Almost as a confirmation of my blog two weeks ago about taking control of your thoughts, a concept in the first few chapters of the book has struck a note:
The thoughts we have in our head, whether a recurring fleeting image or a long playing complicated high definition movie, often sound, look and feel so real that we believe they are true. The real truth is that they are NOT REAL. They are just your thoughts. The second part of that is just as profound, 'YOUR' thoughts. They belong to you, created by you, are controlled by you and are certainly not larger than you. You are in control and can chose how to react to whatever is in your mind at any time. My way of relating this concept is watching the tv and allowing the content to tell you what to do, act and feel. You are in control of the remote, change the channel!

I realise we are not robots and stressful or emotional situations are not easily forgotten or changed with the ease of pressing a button. We have to process events to move through and past them. I am referring to that constant replay-thought that keeps reminding you of something you failed at or didn't achieve. Those are the channels to monitor and change as soon as it affects your perception of loving life or living it.

"Life doesn't just happen to you; it happens for you."  - Louise Hay.








Friday, 30 October 2015

The Air in My Lungs

Recently, I have been having quite a few flash backs to my bike accident and my time in hospital. There is rarely a day that passes without me thinking about that time but usually they are in fleeting snapshots that appear and are gone. The recent images have turned into mini-movies with much more detail, probably because I had entered and have completed a road race after a number of years of abstinence. I am not writing this message to gain more sympathy for the accident as that event has long passed and I have, without a doubt, been miraculously healed. What is pertinent about having these re-runs is a reminder of the promise I made to myself to make this life count. With that accident, I had been given a serious jolt to give my all to this life.

There is a verse in a song that goes like this:
Every day we live, We get one more chance
To use the air in our lungs To make something that counts
And now we wanna be the ones To build something that lasts. - "Bright Eyes" by Ever Stays Red

So reminding myself, that every day is another chance to forget yesterday's mistakes and get on and make a difference in this world today. Not aiming to build a mansion adorned with objects that will fade and rust to nothing, but to focus on building "something that lasts".  For me that is my faith in God and the promise of an eternity with Him. In addition to that, it's what I do with and for my family. Sure I can work 24/7 to enable the buying of 'things' for them but one day when I am gone what will remain? What will their attitude be? Will they miss the "things" or the person? Hopefully the latter, if I am doing what I set my mind to while lying in that hospital bed. Further afield, I have been given the privilege of sharing these thoughts and messages with a greater audience and even people I may never meet. The feedback I get is always encouraging for me so I am motivated to persevere with my 'ramblings'.

This week, take a moment to consider what you are grateful for. Even it is just the air in your lungs, you have an incredible opportunity to use, to make a difference, or at least try...

Look around yourself. We are all so inward focused that often, we don't see (and at times choose not to see), those that need some lifting up. I've said it before, it could be the simple act of just listening to or acknowledging someone who is going through something difficult, because we all have our challenges to overcome. But be that person who breaks the mould and offers a hand up.

Use that air in your lungs and start building the things that last.

Friday, 23 October 2015

Viruses of the Mind

Having spent a few nights in Jo'burg this week, I can happily report that I love my own home and I miss my family that makes it home. How people do this on a regular basis for even longer periods is beyond my comprehension. Surely one gets married and has a family to be a part of it not apart from it?

I can also report that I enjoy my own company. As much as I missed my family, I really do enjoy quiet spaces and just kickin' back with me and my thoughts. Most people will probably understand that certain people are like this, even if they can't relate because they crave the company of others. For an an introvert, I think it is imperative to be comfortable with yourself, otherwise there may be a risk of a feeling that there is absolutely no-one you are truly comfortable with. It can also be an extremely lonely experience if you can't enjoy being with yourself.
I say this is important for introverts as I know from personal experience, but I also believe we should all have enough self-worth to appreciate periods of quiet time without becoming derogative towards yourself. There are people who constantly criticise themselves and are overly critical of everything they do. I used to be there and I can tell you it is a very unhappy place to be. Slowly I started to realise that there are certain things I can do fairly well, I have certain (positive) characteristics that make me distinct and actually I can be a "pretty nice guy". This transformation did not happen over-night, but was a slow shift of recognising the negative thoughts and stopping them before they tainted my mind completely. Consciously switching to something that I could remember doing well or a goal I was working towards and the progress made thus far. It is not easy and takes discipline and constant monitoring of your thoughts. I guess it's a bit like a computers anti-virus for your mind!

We all have those dark and dreadful incidents we are better off forgetting, that keep dropping into our minds. Don't let them pull you down from where you have advanced to. Take that incident and see how you have survived and over-come it. It was terrible and nothing can change that now, but don't let that rule over you and keep you in that dark space forever. You are worth far more than that. You are stronger than that. You deserve far greater than that.

Activate that anti-virus and clean out those negative-thought-viruses that are hampering your system and get yourself back to optimum performance.

Friday, 16 October 2015

Remember Priority #1

We are mid-way through October, Christmas decorations are hitting the stores and people are already planning office end-of-year parties. Although I have just had a fantastic break, I have a general feeling that people are in survival mode, just hanging in for the final push till year-end. I thought this advice may help those who are feeling a little stretched...

If you are just living to get to work, pay your bills and get back to work then you are not really living at all. You have to find time to do the things that you really love. At some point you need to make these things priority number 1.

Leave the washing up, leave that the tap that needs a new washer, the car that needs cleaning can wait a bit longer too. Leave all those important and necessary things and go and do something you love to do. Whatever it may be, go and do it. Don't do it with a guilty conscience reminding you of all that you still need to do. Remember you have made this priority number 1 so it has to be done now above everything else, so the to-do's can wait their turn!

There is something rejuvenating about following your passion. It recharges your internal spring and gives you back what surviving daily life takes out. After taking care of priority number 1, you'll feel infinitely more motivated and ready to take on the rest of your challenges. You may even feel inspired to tackle them in a completely different way!

As I have mentioned before, I love to exercise, so getting out into the bush on my bike or getting my running shoes moving down the road is what I do as my priority number 1. Maybe reading a book could be yours or perhaps it is sitting on a quiet beach, early in the morning watching the sun come up over the waves. Whatever it is, make sure it is a 'living event'; something that has an element of inspiration and upliftment for yourself. Sleeping for instance, although it may be a high priority for a new mother, it isn't really what I am promoting for the majority here. Do something that will benefit your mind, body and soul. If your priority number 1 activity ticks those boxes then it is a worthy priority. Being unique individuals, we all have different definitions or interpretations of mind, body and soul activities so be unique and fill your boxes in your own way. Remember to review your to-do's regularly and ensure you get priority number 1 spot every now and again.

Friday, 9 October 2015

Don't Lose Your Fire


I have spent most of the last week whining and complaining because of circumstances around me and especially issues related to work and the workplace. I had to stop myself, rewind all that negative footage and focus on what is still good and where I can be an influencer.
 In our office we have some really excellent, top quality people who all they really want to do is to put in an honest day's work and be suitably rewarded. Some stick their neck out for a cause that could benefit everyone and summarily get it chopped off before all the facts are considered. My message today is to not be discouraged. Keep on doing what it is you feel compelled to do. Do not let your circumstances change your passion and even your character. Do not let your fire be extinguished. This is rather the time to fan that glowing ember back into a roaring fire as there are so many others whose flames have died out and become lumps of cold coal. All they may need is a bit of fire from your flame to re-ignite their passion again. Imagine if we all let our passion die out? What a dull grey existence we would have to carry out. But imagine if all our flames joined together. What an intense energy there would be! This sounds rather like an incitement to rebel. In contrary it is an encouragement to not lose the passion of working together despite circumstances. Rules and procedures have their place but people are what matter more. Extinguish the fire in the people and there will be no life. Fan those fires in the right way and an unstoppable force will be raised.

It is October 2015 already. It may not be the same out there, but for most of the 'workers' in my office, it has been a tough year (and not because of their own doing). Circumstances out of their control have resulted in really difficult working conditions. As always the team pulls together to get the job done. I put challenge out there now to get your fires stoked, fan them up and finish the year strong. Forget working for that bonus, Forget working for that recognition from your boss, rather work for the benefit of your colleagues and most importantly, work for the benefit of yourself.  Let these last few months of the year be filled with fun. Remember when you enjoyed what you were doing. Bring those times back. Brush off those things that have been annoying you. Let your fire burn them up. Let that fire brighten your colleagues workspace so he can perform better and brighten another's workspace. Soon the heat will be un-containable...

Monday, 5 October 2015

25 minute Workout

Every time I see one of those adverts or emails promising six-pack abs in an “easy 25 minute workout” or “master the guitar with this simple system”, I dive right in to see what it is all about. Why? Because I have this eternal optimism that one of them will reveal to me a simple way to achieve great results. Sadly, the truth is that hard work is the only guaranteed method to achieve great results. Hoping and waiting for a quick-fix is a complete gamble and the only guarantee is that you are delaying achieving your goals. Start your workout today. Even if it is only an 8 minute one, it is 8 minutes more than you did yesterday. Find a system that works for you and the current threshold you can withstand. It will be painful and require some sweat and effort from your part, but that’s the definition of hard work. If you haven’t exercised in years, diving straight into a marathon will put you off any further exercise for the rest of your life. Start small but with the mind-set of building blocks. Use the slow or seemingly insignificant start as the warm-up to build some basic movement in your body. Allow your muscles to become accustomed to this new regime. Don’t do too much but just enough to feel your heart-racing and a sweat develop. From there, build your strength to enable you to go a bit further or work a bit longer. Get advice on what you should be doing in your routines from people in the know who have travelled done similar roads before you. Lear from their experiences and adapt what will be useful for your journey. Soon you will be smashing your own 25 minute workout and be well on your way. It won’t be easy but nothing worthwhile is.


This is of course not only true for physical exercise and goals, but for most goals you want to achieve. The first step may be as simple as requesting the registration forms for that study course you have been putting off for a while now. Once the ball is rolling, it will be easier to gather momentum. The greatest effort is to just get it rolling. Don’t even spend a further moment contemplating that first step. Take it now! 

Friday, 25 September 2015

The Metamorphosis

If you are not sure what this whole life thing is about or you are constantly trying to find some meaning or purpose for your being placed here, then I congratulate you. You have reached a point that has surpassed merely existing and are now trying to make a purpose for yourself.

There are so many "existers" in this world when we need more "purposers".

The "existers" float around, aimless, drawn into random experiences one after the other. Some of these are quite useful and value adding but the "exister" was just pulled in by mere chance. A "purposer" has direction and an end goal in mind. They are conscience about every choice they have to make and whether it is taking them closer to or drawing them away from that end goal.

If you have reached that transition point where you are questioning your "exister" phase, then you are ready to become a "purposer". This transition phase may be quick for some and may last for years for others. I have not yet fully metamorphosized into a complete "purposer" yet and have been in this phase for some years. It can be frustrating. Very frustrating. The longer you are in that cocoon of change, the more driving is that desire to have a purpose. It becomes a desperate existence. That cocoon feeling almost like a trap. Take hope, in that the struggle you are feeling, is building strength in you, it is driving you to find that purpose that really gets you excited about life. Something unique that fits your personality and heart's desires. Don't get so frustrated that you take the first opportunity you see to get out. It may be a tear in your cocoon and you are not ready for the full metamorphosis yet. Stitch that tear up and continue being patient in what you are already doing until you know, beyond a doubt that what is calling you out of the cocoon of transition is really your life purpose and is your heart's passion. You will know...

Friday, 18 September 2015

Finding The Joy

This week I had a day that was absolutely beautiful. Perhaps even the best day of my life. Coming off of a birthday party weekend for my boys, I decided to spend the afternoon of their real birthday with them on Monday. The time at work flew by without anything dragging me down. Arriving at the school and being greeted with such love and excitement is beyond expression. Our afternoon wasn't an elaborate affair. Just a simple meal at a family restaurant, playing some games in their entertainment area and then home to open gifts. The reward of seeing one's children going to bed so happy and content is something only a parent can understand.
This will be a day I lock away in my memory banks and will call on when I am harassed by the pressures and circumstances of daily life. That joy I felt, will be something I will strive to have every day. There is actually no reason to live in a place constantly thinking about the atrocities around yourself. Dwelling in those dark places is not helping solve the situation and is definitely not helping yourself. Don't ignore the issues of the world but rather choose to take your mind to where there is joy. If you can't find that place, here are the directions:
 - Do something kind and unexpected for someone else.
Taking your focus from the negative and using your efforts to create a positive in someone else's life will only ever generate joy in both the giver and the receiver.
 - Go and do something fun.
For me that's easy. Hopping on a bike is not only great exercise but totally thrilling for me. Doing something fun doesn't have be an hugely expensive event either. It can be as simple as taking a walk in the rain, go swim in the ocean, have coffee with that friend you have been meaning to.
 - Hug someone you love.
And not just a limp-armed one second pat on the back. It must be a full body, locked-arm-wrap-type hug which lasts long enough so that you feel the warmth generate between you. (I did say this has to be someone you love!)

If we all find a little joy today, what an awesome day it will be. Go and find the joy.

Friday, 11 September 2015

Title Deed

Yesterday I caught myself being ungrateful. Not the usual ungrateful type moment where you think it would be nice to have a new bike, go on more holidays or to have a new wardrobe of clothes or even want to go out for a meal as often as you see others do. The moment I had yesterday was a real spoilt-brat occasion and I felt quite embarrassed afterwards.

I have recently heard and read a couple of messages about 'entitlement'. I don't think that it is any coincidence, but rather a message that is something I should be paying attention to. I have probably reached that age where I have sufficient history to look back on and take stock of where I have been. Doing so, can be quite uplifting in seeing what trials have been overcome and the progress that has been made. The danger comes in when an attitude of 'entitlement' starts to develop. "Because of all I have been through, surely I deserve to have more? I have earned a title deed!"

That is not how life works though! You cannot expect to receive a proportionate share of blessings as reward for your adversity. If that were the case, there would be so many more entitled people ahead of us (me) anyway.

I also think the comparison with the Joneses is such a dangerous game. There will always be
those that 'have' and those that don't. Some may have toiled and managed to get where they are through pure hard work and perseverance while others have had everything handed to them. If you don't fall into the latter category, guess what, you are going to have to be one of those that really work to get what you want. It's not a case of fairness, it's a case of reality, accepting your lot and making the best of your situation. Forget the Joneses, remember who you are.

Another dangerous scenario is even if you aren't comparing to the Joneses but comparing against yourself, and you appear to be regressing rather than advancing. "Why is this happening to me? I don't deserve this."
I was reminded about how fruit trees and roses are pruned at regular intervals to remove the dead wood as well as some seemingly good branches. What seems like down-sizing actually stimulates more growth and production or more fruit and flowers. So, although the "why" may not be evident at the moment of pruning, be assured that you can grow and be even more productive than before.

I have said it before, but I'll repeat it for my own sake,  take stock of where you are, appreciate and celebrate what is important around you. Put more emphasis on family and friends than "stuff", let the Joneses worry about that...

Friday, 4 September 2015

Be Where You Are

Can you remember a time when you were absolutely overflowing with joy?
When was there a period that you were totally content with your life?

Why is it we cannot remain in these moments? Why do we always seem to derail and head into a type of survival mode, desperate for some relief from the 'daily grind'? The answer is simple, "We can!"
Just as we can choose our memories and can playback those emotions, we can also chose our state of mind. We can choose to see what we do have and not see our perceived lack. We can choose to see ourselves in our full potential rather than focus on seeming character deficiencies.
It's when we compare ourselves to others that we start allowing envy and jealousy to seep in and rob that joy and contentment from our lives. There will always be people with more than yourself. You haven't walked in their shoes and experienced what they have. You don't even know if they are really happy or content with their more!

Be grateful for where you are. Dream big, but never let the gap between your current circumstances and where you are aiming, become such an obsession that you forget about where you actually are and what you already have. Be where you are. Live with what you have.  Life, family, friends: more precious than any earthly treasure and should be given even more regard and hold our attention so much more than we do our earthly treasures.

Friday, 28 August 2015

If A Tree Doesn't Fall...


"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"
If a pebble is tossed into a pond and no one sees it does it still make a ripple?

The scientific answer is of course, "Yes". But if no-one observes it, it can't be verified. I can be 100% certain though, if the tree does not fall down, there will be no sound. Similarly, if the pebble is not tossed into the pond, there will definitely be no ripple.  You have to make the effort to create the result you want. Sure, sometimes a chance random ripple will come along that may or may not be what you are looking for but if you toss the pebble, the created ripple will be positioned and directed by your aim. You decide how big a splash to make, you decide how near or far to start the ripple and your positioning gets to decide what receives the greatest impact of the ripple. This seems far for effectual than waiting for the random ripple to occur. 

Decide what it is you should be, must be doing and seize the moment. Toss that pebble into the pond to get the ripple going. Stalling and procrastinating is only delaying your dream.

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

Taking It Back

The other day, my son was sitting quietly on my lap when he turned to me and said he was watching the long arm on my watch spinning around. I suppose he found the smooth motion of the second hand was quite hypnotic. What stood out for me, was that for every smooth cycle of motion that long arm traveled through for each second was a second that was never coming back for him. It was a moment that he had and is now gone. Strangely, I've never thought of time in context with my children. Perhaps because the seemingly have a whole lifetime ahead of them. Even still, every second is still a precious moment.
I later bumped into  running/riding mate whom I hadn't seen in a while and found out had an aneurysm and the doctors had reported he is one of a few who have survived such a condition. I think I was getting a reminder message...

Last week, I was (to put it mildly) pretty angry with the world for various reasons but mostly because of the disappointment in how disgusting the human race can be. I found my thoughts constantly returning to 'the scene of the crime', plotting my revenge, stewing in my anger and being completely miserable. To steal a quote, every second spent in anger is a second lost that could have been spent in happiness. It's like allowing yourself to be robbed over and over again by staying in that place. Not only have you had your emotions upset but now 'It' continues to steal your joy. It's time to take it back. I would much rather spend a second in a happy place than in that place of anger.
Have your moment as it is a natural reaction but then start moving forward. If there is something to be done, do it and move on swiftly. Don't dwell in that space, move through it before you allow it to rob you of your happiness. You can choose! Deal with the things you have control over but don't brood over issues that you cannot influence. You are investing in something with absolutely no positive return for anyone and that is just plain stupid. Take back your happiness.

Friday, 14 August 2015

Check Your Anchors

So this week has been pretty tough to be the "Seize the Moment" role model and the thoughts I had yesterday would either have me arrested or institutionalised. Of course my commitment to write the Friday morning inspiration is on my mind during this 'full-moon' phase as well.
"What could I possibly write about when I feel so negative that would be of benefit?" 
Well, to answer my own question, it's that we will all go through trials that test the body, mind and soul and there will be cycles of highs and lows in each of the aspects of your make-up. That's obviously not the good news though. The good news is that it is completely normal!

When you are in cycle of a 'high', recognise what you are doing and purposefully add it to your memory store. When your 'high' starts waning and the shadows of the low start creeping in or even if it is a sudden cloudburst that struck without warning, revisit the memory of the high and start the move back into the sunlight.

Sometimes it is an injury that will limit the ability to exercise the body. Maybe a tragic loss or just an absence of motivation. It may be something that has a short cycle that requires some intense therapy or focus to resolve the problem or it may be a lengthy healing process. Perhaps this is a time to focus on another aspect that has been neglected.  

I believe when you have a balanced, joy of the mind, body and soul, that is when you are at your happiest. 

That sounds a bit new-age for a Christian, but we were created with a body that needs maintenance, a mind that needs stimulation and a soul that needs spiritual nourishment. If any are neglected, or in a storm, the others will either be drawn into the whirlwind or be strong enough to anchor you through the storm. When the storm hits, it's too late to start checking your anchors. Some may not even know how to use them, some may be so under-developed that the slightest breeze will put them under strain. Make sure the anchors are in place and in the best condition you are able to maintain them. When you need to use them, you know where they are, you are skilled in their use and you know you can rely on them to see you through the storm you are or about to face.

Friday, 7 August 2015

What's Your Trade?

I somehow feel that I wasn't meant to write this blog today:

  • Firstly, I left my laptop at the office as I somehow thought is was Wednesday, but that's okay because I could use my wife's laptop and catch up on the emails when arriving at the office.
  • Secondly, the morning alarm reset itself without allowing the 5 minute snooze I really needed, so I didn't manage to get up in time to for the limited moments of morning quietness before the raucous machine that is the Welch household, begins its daily grind. 

Being a person of discipline and having a somewhat stubborn character, I will not let such things break my pattern and in fact, I am more driven to get this piece written. I had (have) the title of this blog before I had the content arranged in my mind so that is a first and let's see how that works out...

What is your trade?

I am an engineer. This is my skill that I use to generate my livelihood. This is the classic definition for describing one's trade: any occupation pursued as a business or livelihood.
In my mind, I saw the word "trade" in more of the verb context: What are you exchanging or what do you have to exchange? This is different from my previous message of sowing, as a trade means a direct swap of one item for another. I see this with my boys swapping marbles at school; two junkies for a spaghetti or a fireball for a cat's-eye.  I believe we are continuously doing trades throughout our lives. The most common commodity used is our time.
Perhaps my question can be re-phrased, "What are you trading your time for?"
In this light, you have to ask yourself, "Am I getting back something of value for my trade?"

Most of my day is spent at work, because that is the way of the world. You have to work to generate an income. So the trade for my time is an income. I also hope to find aspects of my work that is involved in actually improving the world we live in rather than just the generation of money. Fortunately, the engineering field does offer numerous opportunities to explore that potential.
I also hope that my work-time allows me to speak into people's lives and be a source of encouragement, support or a sounding board to discuss matters that are concerning them. If my time-trade can be used to help people then I gain little in the physical realm but satisfies an inner desire to be a contributor to my world and perhaps, by making a small ripple in my pond, other ripples will be initiated by those in theirs until a greater wave is generated impacting a larger ocean.

The balance of my time is for my family. Hugely demanding but even more rewarding. While I was watching Matt sleeping last night, he packed up laughing (still asleep), as does, and says "He looks so cute", and then goes on sleeping. The pleasure of knowing that my child is having happy dreams is immeasurable. I will be presumptuous enough to take some credit in achieving that with the time I have traded with him. Did I get anything tangible in return? "No, I got something of much greater value!"

What is your trade? Exercise it wisely.

Friday, 31 July 2015

The Art of Framing

"At some point in your life, have you ever encountered a problem?"

A pretty pointless question as the answer will always be a resounding "Yes". The next question is the interesting one and will yield varied results:

"How did you deal with it?"

I, generally, have an ignore-it-for-a-while, to let nature take its course type of reaction. Others may call it the ostrich-in-the-sand response. If it isn't able to be resolved on its own, then volumes of research, reading case studies, on-line help, professional consultations and anything else I can find to throw into the blender will be added to permutate a solution.
We will all have different approaches and each problem in itself will require different tactics to overcome it. It's the approach aspect that I want to narrow in on. I read an interesting article about whether the creative design process could be put down in a structured process. The study followed some ingenious people and discussed each of their methods of approaching a problem and the steps they 'followed' to see if there was some common pattern that could be written down for others to emulate and hopefully achieve similar levels of creative results. What stood out for me in that article was a line from the approach aspect, "Frame your problem differently."

This struck me as quite profound as if you take a picture frame, it actually separates the picture from its surroundings, it puts it in a different context, different to what is around the framing, it hi-lights or gives focal attention to the picture and it also gives a boundary for the picture. Although the article didn't explicitly describe the framing in such a manner, it was immediately apparent to me that this is an excellent strategy to approach problems.

Don't allow the problem to bleed into the rest of your life, give it a boundary that it can't cross. Keep it contained so it cannot affect all aspects of your life. Give it focus so that it can be addressed but not focus to be obsessed. Remember, the problem has a boundary containing it.
Separate the problem from its surroundings, approach it from completely new angles without the distractions of its surroundings. Use whatever insight or knowledge you have to look for alternative solutions. You may have an interest in nature and seen how a bird's wing is shaped and can adopt that to the problem of creating a more aerodynamic bicycle frame. You may have chemical know-how and can adopt that in your culinary hobby. I have seen liquid nitrogen being used creatively in the kitchen because of someone framing the problem differently.

Frames also come in an infinite variety of styles. This speaks to me of how you define the problem. So many times we label the problem in such a way that it seems impossible to resolve. If the frame is changed, perhaps the problem definition could be altered such that it can be addressed. A simple framing example: "I don't earn enough money! With my job, I get a salary that is the market norm and that's all, nothing else I can do!"
Re-framed: "I spend too much money based on my income! Let me review my budget and see what unnecessary expenditure I have and make some adjustments so I can save for what I really need."

If that frame doesn't work out, try different ones till you find one that better defines the problem for you so that you can resolve it. Remember, there is never just one frame that suits a picture, each adds a different aspect to the picture. A different colour may draw attention to different entities within the picture. Different frame profiles suit different style pictures. A modern metallic sharp angled frame wouldn't suit the Mona Lisa and an old ornate wooden carved frame wouldn't suit a modern pop-art type of picture.

Find the frame(s) that suits your problem. There is an art in framing, so don't settle for the first one you try, use some creativity in your approach, you may be surprised at how you end up solving your problem...

Friday, 24 July 2015

How Often Do You Sow?



Reap what you sow

Reap what you sow in your life
Every opportunity awaits the willing
A chance to plant the seeds of hope
Placed in the ground with a purpose

When the seeds grow into serenity
Having a chance to be inspiring
An exhileration of the joys of labor
Then you're prepared for what life is!

Yes, for you'll have that chance to teach
Or learn just by dedicating  yourself
Understanding the benefits...reap what you sow

So in that garden of life...when it's truly seen
Often missed by many...the real spirituality
When you...reap what you sow...each and everyday

David


This week seemed quite uneventful in comparison with the latest torrent of DIY projects on the go. One event that did stand out, was an opportunity I was given to promote the field of mechanical engineering to some young adults who are exploring their options for their future after school. What an honour to be able to provide some input into guiding these individuals, who could go on to become the next Gordon Murray or Mark Shuttleworth or Elon Musk. I will likely never see them again nor know if my presentation affected them in any way, but just being able to use my experience to sow into their lives and being able to help guide them in their career choice, is a huge privilege. I imagine this is a small taste of the satisfaction teachers get every day.
The poetry above, I thought captured the essence of what happened yesterday.

How often do you sow?

It's not the 'karma-ists' who invented this principle of sowing and reaping, it's a practical law of nature. You will not grow maize if you plant apple seeds! You won't grow a crop at all if you don't plant any seed. It's a biblical principal too. It moves on from the the agricultural example and into what we do for our carnal sowing and reaping and ultimately for our spiritual sowing.
Sometimes, this can be hard work with very little visible reward hence the trap of falling into the worldly instantaneous gratification system that yields crops quickly but of very poor quality. Something worthwhile will always require effort and persistence. The crop will produce at the right time, so don't stop tending the fields.

For some crops, you may actually never see the efforts of your labour. The true test of your heart is whether you sow anyway...

Friday, 17 July 2015

My Fear Equation

Continuing with the personality vein of last week, I am one of those stick-to-the-path, use the tried-and-tested method type of people. Trying new things is quite daunting for me. Even going to a new restaurant has a level of anxiety to accompany the dining experience. Where I stray from this inherent characteristic is in the field of D.I.Y. Somehow, I find the excitement and the anticipated sense of accomplishment on completion enough of an incentive to pretty much try anything. Last week-end I found myself embarking on a d.i.y. journey to lay a concrete slab. As always, the job was meticulously planned out, numerous drawings and calculations done, Google searches and YouTube tutorials viewed so I was as mentally prepared as an Olympic athlete.
The phrase,  "I've got this!" was resounding in my brain.

With the materials purchased and the area cleared, measuring and double measuring began. Everything was great up to the point that the shuttering was in. It was when the mixing of the cement began, that my equation of "Sense of Accomplishment > Fear of the Unknown" became flawed. There is no satisfaction, whatsoever, in the laborious duty of mixing cement, sand, stone and water, full stop.
My lesson learnt, was, that certain jobs are best left to the professionals and those experienced in doing them. Concrete work definitely falls into that category. I have a new found respect for the people who do this everyday. My builder friend came in during the week and completed the pour (I ran out of materials, I didn't give up.) within an hour whereas I had taken the better part of a day.
Will I try other d.i.y. jobs? Of course. Some will work according to the equation and others will prove it invalid. The important aspect is that I continue trying and experiencing and with those experiences, I keep learning.

What enables you to face your fears and continue with the job despite those fears?
I encourage you to identify those strengths and leverage them to get the most out of your life. Don't let the fear draw you into a life of perceived safety. There is so much more to experience than what you already know.

Find your fear equation and focus on the 'gain' side rather than the 'fear' side. Build on the positive and the fear will shrink back into its insignificance, releasing you to experience what truly makes you feel alive.

"Everything you want is on the other side of fear." Jack Canfield

Friday, 10 July 2015

Uniqueness of Character

This week I attended a webinar discussing different personality traits and how the classic 'types' perform at their best. I think this is something we inherently know but often we impose or expect our own character type from others and get frustrated when things are not dealt with in our way.

The uniqueness of individuals should be encouraged and the differences in character promoted in the correct manner to bring out the best in each of us.

I have always said that we all have value to add, we just bring it about in different ways. Just as the loud-mouth individual is annoying to the quiet introvert, the extrovert has similar sentiments towards the seemingly distant reserved person.

Knowing and accepting how each classic type best operates, you can relate to people in a way that will bring out the best in them and have a mutually beneficial interaction. For example, forcing an introvert to speak before they are ready only puts them under immense pressure and is likely to clam them up and the gem they were processing in their mind is unlikely to be brought out. On the other hand, some people like to think out loud, in conversation, and need that arena to be available to do just that. Keeping them in a silent isolated think-tank won't bring about the same results. Having these two personality types working together could be disastrous if they do not respect each other's preferred working methods and provide some leeway to accommodate each's style.

We get to choose the friends we spend time with, but at work, we often don't get to choose our colleagues and if we are honest, there are those individuals we would rather choose not to spend time with. However, understanding a little about their personality may provide a key to the best way to interact with them. Achieving the results most effectively may actually be the way to improve a difficult relationship. Of course one side has to first try to be accommodating for this to work and, I think, accepting that we are different and we do things in different ways is the first step to this process. Trying to change or mould someone into something they are not naturally inclined towards, will, in most cases, result in less than optimum results. This is not to say we shouldn't try things out of our comfort zones or encourage others to try new things to develop them, but people usually perform best with their inherent abilities in an almost instinctive manner. Time will of-course allow a person to develop new abilities, confidence, etc... but at a set point in time allow the individual to bring their gem to the table in the way they know best. Respect the fact that they are different and bring out the best in them.

Friday, 3 July 2015

Every Opportunity Has A Potential

"Don't miss an opportunity to be good to people." Galatians 6:10
A very apt message to remind me how we should be behaving rather than always looking out for yourself and striving for more and more. I feel that I do try and help where I am able but I often see opportunities or moments where that small voice inside says I could help in some way and I continue on my way dismissing it with excuses like, "I am on my way somewhere", "I am too busy at the moment", "I am sure someone else will step up and do the same thing", "I ...
"Don't miss an opportunity." That message is crystal clear how we should react when that inner voice speaks to us. You never know what impact it will have.

Here's a story my Mom told me last night:
Firstly let me start out by saying my Mom is not well off financially, so whatever she has is quite important to her. The story starts with her garden which is fairly large, too large for one man to handle let alone a woman with as much grey hair as my Mom has. The garden grows as it pleases and looks more jungle-like than garden. There is even a very large mulberry tree growing into her verandah in Day-of the-Triffids fashion! At times a young man, Romeo, comes in and helps clear weeds and trims the grass panga-style to find the wash line area. Now Romeo is one of the thousands who is homeless and lives in a shack which is constantly raided by delinquents in his area. For his work, my Mom gives him some money, some food and if she can, some clothing every time he comes to help her out. My Mom's house has also been burgled on occasion, with the crooks targeting scrap metal for resale. Now Romeo found these guy, recovered some pots they had stolen and gave them some 'advice' not to return. My Mom was so overwhelmed she felt giving him a clock-radio was just something she could afford to repay him. He literally danced in the street when she gave it to him.
Now Mom and Romeo have been talking about the little stand he has set-up to sell some oranges to commuters on their way to work. She has advised him how to save money and is taking him to a bank to arrange his first bank account. She has also told him about the man who owns the Spar at the four-way stop, started off selling fruit and vegetables out of the back of a van at the same four-way stop.
Yesterday, Romeo told my Mom that he has a target to save towards at the end of this year and he would like to give her some petrol money for her help. He has also spoken to the 'Spaza-man' and he is going to let him put a container at the four-way stop to sell some fruit. Romeo says wants to meet all my Mom's children because he is now also part of the family and wants to meet his brothers and sisters.
Here is a man who was merely surviving from one day to the next, who now has a vision for his future and is feeling so confident about life that he wants to meet his new family. Many would see my Mom and dismiss her as a crazy old lady. Her actions did cost her out of her little, they were sacrifices but it has brought about an incredible life-change in this man.
Imagine if there were more 'crazy old ladies' in this world...  DON'T MISS AN OPPORTUNITY!

Friday, 26 June 2015

Communication

So, I am one of those introspective types who will replay life events over and over in the movie theatre of my mind. Stop. Pause rewind, "How should I have handled that differently?", "What was really meant by that phrase?", "Did I interpret that correctly or does it really mean...?" Rewind, play it again.

It is hard work and is sometimes the reason I don't get the rest I should, hence I am awake at 3 a.m. on Friday morning with an over-active brain again. This time the issue revolves around communication and more precisely, the lack thereof leaving people to draw their own conclusions. A pretty risky and volatile situation especially when people's emotions are involved. Anyway, it has been pretty much all wrapped up and the "lack of an issue" resolved but this event has hi-lited to me (again) the importance of clear communication. 

What may be clear in my mind, is likely not fully comprehended by someone else until I explain completely what the intent is. 

A good test if the correct message has been properly received is to talk about it and get the listener's understanding of the message to see if it was just heard, or if they actually listened.

Being a stereotype engineer, talking is not one of my strong suits so I seem to fail in this communication domain quite often when it comes to life's soft issues. Generally for me, talking is a functional activity and not recreational, so I am quite succinct in delivering my message and usually get the request or information transfer done quite efficiently. Small talk is not for me! 
However, for some reason the emotional type issues are parked in my brain and communicated sparingly and almost always in a spy-interrogation style conversation. 

One would think that someone with a bit of intelligence would learn the value of not doing this over and over again and actually relinquish the burden of carrying these "non-issues". I guess character make-up is pretty difficult to change. I say difficult, not impossible. I believe I can improve on this area in my life and hopefully get my mind some rest. I know, I am not the only one who functions in this manner, and hope those who can relate, or those who interact with similar people, can be encouraged to also change and improve in this aspect. 

"That which we are capable of feeling, we are capable of saying." - Cervantes

"Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing." - Rollo May

Friday, 19 June 2015

With Enough Practise You Too Can be a Professional

While mountain-biking on Tuesday, I came to appreciate the instinctive learning ability we possess as humans. If you do something often enough, you learn how to react without even thinking about it. Riding through some rocky sections, I found myself a bit off the right riding line and in for a potential fall. Without any conscious thought, my body repositioned itself and and immediately the bike came back onto course again. This is pretty normal for any mountain biker but as an engineer I can appreciate the dynamics of the forces and momentum that play their role in making this possible. I always imagine programming a robot to perform the same 'balancing acts' we can do as second-nature. (My engineer geek is showing isn't it?)

The thought of this ability has stuck with me and I have been wondering how we can use it in a positive way. Writing it down now, it seems pretty obvious: "If you do something often enough, you learn how to react without even thinking about it." 

If you continually encourage, uplift, guide, comfort, console then these will be your automatic reactions to situations. If you always face life with a cheerful and enthusiastic demeanour, then this will be your automatic reaction. The key is to be doing it continually such that it becomes habit. Just as in learning to ride that rocky section of trail, it was only by continually riding it, that I learned how to correctly position myself. It was not a once off experience and I immediately knew what to do. It took numerous attempts at pushing through, consciously thinking about how much brake should I use and how far back and low should I be sitting. I am no professional mountain biker and have great appreciation for the training that the pro's put in to reach the instinctive skill levels that they have. 

If we put in the effort to practice using the abilities we have in building others up and finding the positives in life these can be instinctive. The more you use them, the more habitual they will become. In this way I believe one can actually change your personality. Not the core of who you are but your general outlook. People who are always complaining and bring negativity into conversation can change... with some conscious effort initially. Halting those thoughts before they become negative words and choosing to say something different takes some work but with continual practice it can become instinctive.  It is easier to walk past someone who is hurting than to stop and console them. It takes some work to sacrifice your time, listen to someone’s problems and offer a kind word. It is easy to live in your comfort zone and ignore those struggling around you, it will take some work to make a difference.

Think about how you would like to positively impact those you meet and start practising. With enough practise you too can be a professional.

Friday, 12 June 2015

(Re)Discover your Bucket Fillers

In life there are things that fill your bucket and things that drain your bucket. I am sure everyone can relate and can quickly identify those bucket fillers and the drainers.

It is quite an amazing moment when you have a revelation about yourself, even when you already know it to be true, but the reminder strikes a chord that just plays such a beautiful sound in your soul. I had such a moment this week and I am feeling a little bit like a child at Christmas with new toys. 

"I really enjoy fixing things."  

As an engineer, this should be pretty obvious and of course, sometime ago I had already made this analysis of myself but this hit home again quite profoundly in a way that said: 

"Why are you not doing more of what you enjoy?"

A million reasons (excuses) come to mind but the pleasure and satisfaction of working on something that fills my bucket should be a priority rather than an option. The things that are continually draining you, are generally requisite for normal daily existence. Not doing those may lead to greater problems and bigger holes in your bucket. With all the daily drains, the bucket has to be topped up, often, so as to keep content. That can be read in the context of filled with substance or also as a satisfied state of mind.

This week I have been tinkering with a generator and have had to hold myself back from stripping it completely into (too many) rows of parts and bolts laid out on my garage floor. I found this so absorbing, as to be honest I don't have the practical skills or experience working on engines so ?I found myself so focused on learning how the parts function and work together that it was bit of escapism for me. I have two gaskets to renew and seemingly the right number of nuts and bolts left to replace, so hopefully tonight will be the flight of the bumble bee! (The generator is yellow and black.)

I feel like I am ready for the next challenge. What else can I build? What else can I do that fills my bucket? This feeling is quite addictive and has got me a bit derailed from the daily routine, which I feel is a really good thing until I decide to build a Cobra and live in my garage on a full-time basis...

Spend some time to rediscover your bucket-fillers and give them some priority. It can be just the thing to add content to your life again.

Friday, 5 June 2015

Where Are You Headed?

So another week has flown by.  The month of June is upon us and it too is swiftly passing through. 
What were my goals for this year? Have I made any real headway?
Well, my fitness is at an all time high, I am the most fulfilled I have ever been at work, my relationships are exactly where I want them to be, my children are absolute angels and my country has really made a turnaround. And it is only June!!!!
I am sure I am not the only one to have fallen 'just short' of achieving my goals thus far. 

Does it seem like the time is slipping through your fingers and the more you try and grab at the dropping items, you just seem to be dropping something else? 
Take a step back and re-prioritise. Review what it is you wanted to achieve and perhaps modify the direction or perhaps the milestones you wanted to achieve. 

"If you don't change your direction you will end up where you are heading."  - Lao Tzu
Similarly, nothing changes if you change nothing. 

Why is it that we resist the change and hold on so tightly to the familiar even if we are aware of the eventual destination it is leading us to? Does the unknown really bind us so strongly?  The sooner you make the change the sooner your ship will start turning and you will start seeing new horizons. Sometimes the change is instantaneous, others take time to surface and of course these are the ones we need to press into and hold onto with the vision of the goal, instead of letting go and slipping back to the familiar.

In a slightly different topic direction, this week I witnessed someone being hit by a car on the main road home. It was a horrific thing to see. His body rag-doll tossed into the air and landing motionless on the other side of the road. That scene reminded me how fragile our lives are and there really isn't even a second that we can afford to waste. That man wasn't planning to have that happen on his way home. It took one judgement lapse to put him where he is right now. In the same light our decisions, or lack thereof, will put us where we are headed. Make sure you make the right decisions. In that statement there is as much emphasis on making the decisions as well as being the right ones.

Check where you are headed, adjust and trim the sails to give the desired destination.

Friday, 29 May 2015

Enjoy the Simple Moments

Commuting becomes such a routine, especially if done at the same time every day, that you almost develop a community of travellers who share the same commute time window. One such member in my travel community, is a guy who uses a bicycle as his means of transport. He stands out from the rest of the cycling commuters as he is kitted out with genuine cycling gear. Blue and white shirt, lycra pants, and a blue helmet. I imagine it is all he has because it is the same gear every day. The other morning I watched him glide down the on-ramp with his arms raised up and spread wide like wings. Not the safest thing to be trying in morning traffic but also not the first time I've seen him trying something slightly perilous. My immediate thought was not the danger but rather how much he was enjoying himself. He was genuinely having a blast, flying like an eagle. How many things do we just do out of duty and not allow ourselves the freedom to actually enjoy simple moments in a child-like manner? Here was this grown man, not giving a care to what people around him thought to just enjoy that moment to the utmost. He will probably never know that his actions that morning are being read about around the globe and, rightly so, he probably wouldn't care either. His actions, did however, gave me reason to pause and to see that we are often so busy considering our appearances and perceived reputation that we miss out on the fun in life, even if it is just in the simple things. Sure there is time to be serious and professional, but I believe an environment where smiles and laughter is the norm, will be far more productive than a hushed morose one. 

I have an unusual mind, in that, I 'see' what people are saying to me in an alternative light as well as the intended meaning. Some, enjoy the alternative light responses I give, and some probably think I am a clown. Just like my cycling eagle, I don't really care, I just want to genuinely enjoy the moment, laugh a lot and hopefully make some people smile a little bit more along the way. These days there is definitely a shortage of smiles, so I will continue to be a "clown" for the sake of those who appreciate it. 

Friday, 22 May 2015

We All Have Washing On The Go.

How do you know when someone is going through something difficult?

I think it is safe to say that everyone you meet IS going through something difficult. You have not and can not walk in everyone's shoes to truly understand what it is they are experiencing. Even if you have some knowledge of what the 'thing' may be and even if you have had a similar experience, you still don't know how that person is processing it. Each one of us deals with stressful situations in very different ways, so be mindful that your empathy has only a small insight into another's pain.

I have read many times, that as men, we feel compelled to be "fixers" so when a problem is identified we feel our duty is to make the situation right again. If we don't know how, or fail in our attempts, that creates a whole other set of stresses. I think it is a bit arrogant that we feel we have the qualifications and skill sets that we should be fixing everything and it was quite a liberation for me to accept that there is in fact more that I don't know than I do know! There are many things I just cannot fix.

Sometimes people just need to talk to air the issue and hear it spoken and shared, rather than actually have a solution provided. There is also comfort in knowing that someone else is aware of your hurts and what is tumbling around in the washing machine of your mind. For all the other people you interact with, that you have no idea of their 'thing', be aware that they too have a load on. You don't know which stage of the process they are in or the magnitude of the load, but be assured they have washing on the go. 

This is just another reason to treat others with respect and humility. I know some people are very difficult to love, but they still deserve a level of courtesy in your interactions. Constantly check your attitude (and altitude) when dealing with people.