Last night on Facebook, I saw a recently updated profile photo of a friend of mine from school and university days. The photo just reminded me that, although we haven't spoken in years, I know who he is and I know that his character will be exactly the same as he was back then. He was a genuinely good person and that is why I chose to keep him in my circle. Looking at his photo I can still see that goodness shining out of him. (It sounds a bit ridiculous as I am writing this but bear with me.) I, on the other hand was probably a charity case for him. Someone who was lost and needing some direction and that's probably why he kept me in his circle, to make sure I didn't get too lost. Either way, the connection was made. Who have you allowed into your circle and for what reasons? Do you make connections easily and rack up the number of followers like a celebrity or are you slow to let your guard down and only after careful screening do you let a certain chosen few in?
We all have multiple circles with various access limits at each circle. Those in the outer circle are for superficial, functional type interactions whilst those closer to the core become more intimate. We each decide how accessible we make each of those circles. My Fort-Knox circle is quite impenetrable and that's how I like it. No trespassers! I keep my 'precious' close to me and every-one else at a distance. That's just me and not how everyone operates their circles. The down-side is that the distance between my core circle and the outer ring is heavily armoured with shields, barbed-wire and probably a few land-mines too. Not conducive to welcoming new people into the circle at all. But to those that are 'forced' to endure, get to see past the wall of barricades and get a glimpse of me. Some even like what they see and stay. Some keep themselves at the perimeter, perhaps because they don't approve or perhaps for their own safety. With me, it's a process, taking substantial time to allow someone through the minefield. It is very seldom that someone is granted instant access. How guarded or open is your circle? What does it take to gain access to your inner ring? Understanding this will explain who is in your life and who is influencing you. Allowing just anyone to your core will expose you to so many conflicting ideas, misdirection, confusion and ultimately being lost. Not allowing anyone at all will keep you isolated, alone and directionless. It's to find the right balance that suits you.
I am working on removing some of the mines and barriers in my outer circles to be able to find more genuinely good people like my mate from high school. Work in progress!
No comments:
Post a Comment