Salute

I woke up last week and tried to get writing on my blog for the week and all I got down was the following:
"Well my plans and to-do list items are getting ticked off one by one. How are yours going?
Does the goal seem like it is storming towards you with no relent or does it seem far off in the distance, barely visible?"
I had been awake sine 2 am. trying to figure out itineraries and various other issues that were plaguing my attempt at sleep. I was also so congested with sinus goop that my head felt like it was reaching rupture levels. I decided it was time to call it a wasted attempt and get one more hour in bed before the real alarm went off.

Yesterday (Sunday) I woke up to the news of yet another colleague and friend who succumbed to that horrid disease, cancer. My wife also received news that one of the teacher assistants at her school also passed away on the weekend. This left quite a sombre atmosphere in our home. Yet another reminder of the fragility of this precious life we have been gifted with. It also reminded me of how crucial it is to tell people the important things they need to know. Like my friend Nico, I really respected him and admired how he conducted himself in business and in general interactions with people. When he looked at someone, he saw more than just the function a person performed but that there was a real person with emotions, issues and an actual personal life they are dealing with. Perhaps it was because his own personal experiences that brought him to that realisation, but whatever it was, he loved people and always looked for the good in someone despite how they treated him. That is inspirational for anyone to see. My regret is that I never told him that! Sometimes it is hard for guys to open up like that, especially to another guy. That whole macho bravado image thing, in the face of real life, means nothing! Open up and tell someone next to you something you admire about them. Do it now! It may just be the highlight in their day to uplift them and change their mood.

My wife started something with my boys in the evenings where we have to talk about a highlight of our day. We have been doing this for some time now and gets us to think about something that made us smile, laugh or just feel good inside. No matter how lousy the day seemed, there is always something that stands out as a positive highlight. If you went around creating those highlights in other people's lives, it would make their highlight discussion in the evenings a lot easier. In fact it would make your discussion easier too, as creating those sparkles is uplifting for your own soul.

This morning was a beautiful blue skied spring morning. Strangely, on arrival at my office, there was literally a large grey cloud over our building which pretty much summed up how I was feeling over Nico's passing and the atmosphere in office seemed to echo the same grey sentiments. As the sun burned through the clouds the blue sky is now fully visible again. As life goes on, so the pain of losing a friend, will be burned off to reveal blue skies again. Nico, I salute you and I am truly grateful for having the privilege of knowing you and working alongside you. Respect to a truly great man.

Work in Progress

I am a small network type of guy and looking at the number of Facebook friends I have, definitely puts me in the small group category. AND I'm more than ok with that. I prefer to have one-on-one conversations. Put me in a crowd of more than 3 and I start to feel claustrophobic...

Last night on Facebook, I saw a recently updated profile photo of a friend of mine from school and university days. The photo just reminded me that, although we haven't spoken in years, I know who he is and I know that his character will be exactly the same as he was back then. He was a genuinely good person and that is why I chose to keep him in my circle. Looking at his photo I can still see that goodness shining out of him. (It sounds a bit ridiculous as I am writing this but bear with me.) I, on the other hand was probably a charity case for him. Someone who was lost and needing some direction and that's probably why he kept me in his circle, to make sure I didn't get too lost. Either way, the connection was made. Who have you allowed into your circle and for what reasons? Do you make connections easily and rack up the number of followers like a celebrity or are you slow to let your guard down and only after careful screening do you let a certain chosen few in?
We all have multiple circles with various access limits at each circle. Those in the outer circle are for superficial, functional type interactions whilst those closer to the core become more intimate. We each decide how accessible we make each of those circles. My Fort-Knox circle is quite impenetrable and that's how I like it. No trespassers! I keep my 'precious' close to me and every-one else at a distance. That's just me and not how everyone operates their circles. The down-side is that the distance between my core circle and the outer ring is heavily armoured with shields, barbed-wire and probably a few land-mines too. Not conducive to welcoming new people into the circle at all. But to those that are 'forced' to endure, get to see past the wall of barricades and get a glimpse of me. Some even like what they see and stay. Some keep themselves at the perimeter, perhaps because they don't approve or perhaps for their own safety. With me, it's a process, taking substantial time to allow someone through the minefield. It is very seldom that someone is granted instant access. How guarded or open is your circle? What does it take to gain access to your inner ring? Understanding this will explain who is in your life and who is influencing you. Allowing just anyone to your core will expose you to so many conflicting ideas, misdirection, confusion and ultimately being lost. Not allowing anyone at all will keep you isolated, alone and directionless. It's to find the right balance that suits you.
I am working on removing some of the mines and barriers in my outer circles to be able to find more genuinely good people like my mate from high school. Work in progress!

Life's Algorithm

So I missed my wakeup call last Friday as I was up pretty late tackling items on my to-do list. The weekend was also almost as frenetic, although I did allow myself some couch time on Sunday to watch the mountain bike downhill world championships held in Italy. What a spectacular event that turned out to be with some of the worst crashes I've seen at that level of racing! I almost felt I should turn it off in fear that my wife would issue a ban on mountain bike riding for all boys in the house. During a family get-together on the weekend, my children managed to come away with a Rubik's cube. I have never learnt the secret of solving the puzzle, so with the help of Google, decided that it was time. I always figured that there were standard "moves" to be able to reposition any piece without disturbing what has already been completed. One tutorial showed about 5 algorithms (combinations of moves) that would allow you to solve the cube. It is actually that simple. Learn the steps and when to apply the particular algorithm and you can solve the Rubik's cube. If only life issues could be solved with similar simplistic algorithms... But then again life is not a simple 6 sided geometrical object. Life has infinitely many facets that makes it worth living. It is not simple at all and we should never desire it to be. Life was created for us to experience love, which in itself is an unexplainable miracle. I wouldn't want my relationship with my wife and children to be an UFU'FDUF' algorithm. I want to be surprised by what stories they tell me and what they are thinking. I want it to be full of new adventures. I admit, I do find comfort in routine but there is a place for the routine and a place for spontaneity. As in most things it's about finding the right balance and for every individual that balance will be different. Maybe you desire a routine-dominant living? Just be prepared for the off-track detours that life will throw at you. Those that live 'on-the-fly', be prepared for situations where you will need to follow rules and structure. Don't get caught up in trying to change that moment into what you would feel more comfortable with. Some circumstances are just what they are, whether we fully comprehend it or not! Don't waste your energy trying to reprogram the situation. Push through. You will either find yourself enduring and moving on, or you may enjoy the experience such that you may even seek out more of the "other" life. You may find your balance dial is shifting. That there, is probably the closest you are going to get to an algorithm for life: Balancing your expectations for routine and impulse-driven situations. 

Your Canopy View

I have written about perception before, but something I was thinking about yesterday brought the concept into a new light:
We all have perceptions or views of certain things based on our own make-up and experiences. Sometimes we agree with those around us and in some cases we are going completely against the flow. I think, most of the time we are aware of our stand in relation to those around us. You can generally gauge the level of acceptance or rejection through conversation and people's general demeanor towards you. Depending on your degree of passion and fervency for the issue, you may try and win over those who have alternative views or possibly just sit back quietly and observe or even be swayed to the alternative.

What happens when your viewpoint is all that you are able to see?

You have no idea of any other possible condition or circumstance that is actually very real in other people's lives. There may be a such a disconnect that the people seem to actually live in different realms. A friend reminded me of a seem in the Hobbit where there was absolute confusion when the hobbits were lost in the Mirkwood forest. Climbing to the top of the trees and breaking through the canopy revealed a completely different world. There was colour, light, air and a different view of the surroundings. Sometimes we can be walking alongside somebody and not even realise the darkness they are experiencing. Sometimes we are so caught up in our own "canopy view" that we forget there are others lost in the forest. It's when we think our view is all that there is, that we have a major problem. We need to remind ourselves there are many fighting dark battles against sickness, depression, strife and rejection. Take a moment to really look at who is around you. Have a real conversation with them and just for a moment, see the world through their eyes. You may gain a greater appreciation and respect for the character that they are. The world could do with some more mutual respect.