An Envelope

If you find an unexpected, unidentifiable envelope on your desk, are you the type of person that immediately suspects something negative like it’s another account to be paid or someone wanting another pound of your flesh? Or do you get excited thinking it’s good news, a party invitation,  bonus letter (touchy subject, I know), a secret admirer or just an encouraging letter from a friend telling you that you are doing really well despite the current circumstances? I think most of the time we are so used to mail bringing burden and added financial pressure, that we often just expect that that is the norm and every item of mail will bring the same. My Dad still sends us birthday cards as well as postcards from every trip he takes. It is such a pleasant surprise to get these in the mailbox in between the normal mail.

Coming back to that unassuming envelope on your desk, do you immediately open it as your curiosity is too much and you need to know what it contains? Or do you look at it for a while, imagining what it could possibly contain for you? Do you saver the thrill of the unexpected and draw out your own suspense? What if you open it and it is just a sweepstakes advertisement? Immediately opening the envelope places you in absolute certainty of the contents of the envelope and whether it contains something of significance or something of no value. The opposite extreme is if you never open the envelope, then the possibilities of what it could contain are endless, yet unattainable.

This is maybe a bit like a Schrödinger’s cat exercise, but perhaps is also a measure of certain character traits as well.

Impatient or impulsive vs cautious and persevering.

Imaginative and optimistic vs routine and negative. 

All this from a simple letter opening activity?

Perhaps see the envelope as a metaphor of the opportunities presenting themselves in your life. Have you been treating those same opportunities with the same regard as all those unassuming envelopes you have received? Expecting nothing more than another account or some junk mail advert, promising the world and delivering way short of your expectations.

Perhaps it’s time to check that mailbox with a bit more enthusiasm. Expect good things! Dream of the things you want to achieve and believe that they can happen. Open those opportunities expecting the best results. Don’t leave them unopened, not knowing if they ever contained your dream.

End or Beginning?

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” 

Winston Churchill

End of the Beginning: Means we have made a start and are now moving in a new direction towards our new goal. Well I would like to believe that is the case for most people. With the end of the year fast approaching I have looked back on the year and tried to recall what impact I have had. Where have I made a difference and where have I fallen short and can improve on for next year. A bit of reflection is always good as it can bring you back to point where you can take stock again. Revalue where your time has been spent or where it should have been spent. Also look at where you have sacrificed important moments for something of urgency but of lower significance. Take stock!

With that reflection, check your direction again and make sure it is where you need to be going or make the necessary adjustments. Sometimes we can be so busy fighting the daily battles, that we lose sight of the goal we have set and can be blown off-course. Check your compass, trim those sails and put the ship back on course. With a few working weeks left of 2014, make the final push and put in the effort to finish strong. Even if you don’t do it for your employer, do it for yourself. Be proud of the job you are doing and do it to your best abilities. As soon as “good enough” creeps in, it can perpetuate through everything you are involved in. It is also contagious. At a time when everyone is feeling burnt out and having very little of oneself to give, “good enough” finds easy rooting. The only way to combat it, is to make a conscious decision to be better with your own contribution. I believe this can be equally contagious if carried out with the right attitude.

So perhaps let this end of year period be a new beginning of greatness. Prove to yourself you have what it takes to finish strong and go into the holiday season knowing you have completed the year as best you possibly could have.

No Super Powers Required

So this week has been one of those where nothing seems to go my way and I just feel like crawling into my man-cave and hibernating till the season is over. So for a bit of fun and considering all the super hero movies that are around I would like to ask, “What super power would you like to possess?”
As a child I would amuse myself with idea of imagining which character I could emulate.

• I would imagine having super strength to be able to move anything my way.
• X-ray vision would have been exciting to see your friend’s skeleton and to be able to see what's happening in the next room.
• Of course flying was one of my favourites and truth be told is still a fantasy of mine.
• How about being super flexible and being able to stretch and mould your body into weird shapes to get through impossible obstacles?
• What about being able to shape shift and take on the appearance of anything you can imagine?

With the week that I have been having I have been wishing for the invisibility super-power to be able to just disappear.

Is that an evolvement from checking-out and going to my man cave? I don’t know, all I know is that it would be great to be able to just disappear for a while, go to a place of peace and rest and really check-out for a while.

I have realised that , sometimes, you don’t need to check-out to find the reset button. You just need to find where you belong and be all there at that place in that moment.

I was able to find that place this evening. It was loud and buzzing with people. Not the isolated island of peace and tranquillity I thought I needed, but somehow it was just the place I needed to be. Standing in a group of like-minded people singing songs of worship to God, really put into perspective what matters. The niggling events of the week dissolved into insignificance. From there I went on to do sound mixing as practice for Sunday. Once again the focus shifted from my inward worries onto the goal of achieving the right balance for each song. When it’s wrong, no matter how talented the musicians and singers are, it sounds harsh. Drums could be overpowering the vocals or the guitars so soft that the song could feel ‘flat’. But when the balance is just right, each component compliments the other. Getting there is my reset button. It is a reminder that I shouldn’t be invisible, that I can add value and that I do make a difference, without any super powers.

Have you identified your reset button? Sometimes you don’t know what it is until you’re in the moment. You just have to go out and be part of life to find your moment, your recharge point.

One thing is certain, staying in the cave will definitely not get you anywhere near it.

Mind You

I often ask what it would be like to be inside someone else’s head. To really feel how they feel, to connect with their thoughts and see how they think and rationalise their decisions and actions.

The movie genre I especially enjoy is the psychological thriller where a serial killer is profiled in order to predict his next move. I guess this is as close to being inside someone’s head space as we are going to get. I still dabble with the thought of actually being in that psychopath’s mind and seeing things as he does. Please don’t get me wrong, it  doesn’t mean I want to be that person, I just find it fascinating how there is an apparent complete disconnect with logic and a lack of empathy for their victims. Being a radically logical person, this lack intrigues me. On a similar plane but perhaps a few degrees lower, imagine experiencing the thoughts of our country’s politicians… It would be incredible to actually ‘see’ the thought process behind certain decisions and public statements that are made.

On a note closer to home, imagine being able to see through your spouse or partner’s eyes. You could understand intimately how they feel, what makes them happy, what makes them sad and more importantly, what they need from you at that particular moment.

What about  being inside someone’s mind who is struggling emotionally. Perhaps ‘seeing’ their thoughts would give you the insight into exactly how deep their hurt is and how hard it is for them to function normally. Perhaps this would enable a greater degree of patience to be exercised when dealing with their healing process.

What about children who are battling to socialise? Getting inside their heads may expose the anxiety they are feeling and help you coach them through those situations.

How about people you have just met? You would instantly get a snapshot of their true selves and gauge whether you wanted to continue a relationship with them. You would also know their impressions and thoughts of you! That may be awkward!

What about someone else being in your head? What would they see? It’s not a case of ‘if’, but a case of ‘how many’ thoughts would you like to be able to lock away in a vault so they couldn’t see them. I imagine, we should continuously, take stock of what is going on in our minds and purge anything that we would want to keep in that vault. Why would you want to dwell on such things anyway? Of course there are things that are personal and private, I’m not referring to those. I am referring to negative thoughts towards others, bad attitudes, lustful thoughts, envy and even hate. If we are honest, we all have these thoughts to a lesser or greater degree, depending on our experiences and frame of mind. It is key to keep these thoughts in check, as every action started out as a simple thought. Very little of what we actually do is based on instinctive behaviour. It is predominantly thoughts that have been processed into actions. Allowing a negative thought to remain in your mind gives it grounds to root itself and as you meditate on it, you provide it with the nourishment it needs to grow. The longer you wait to expel it, the deeper its roots would have taken hold and the broader its limbs would have grown, overshadowing any other positive thought growth. Do your weeding frequently and thoroughly. Don’t let even the smallest weed take root.

Perhaps the idea of mind access is a little ‘science-fictiony’ but the idea of walking in someone else’s shoes does warrant credit. We are far too quick to judge and criticise those around us without first considering the other person’s circumstances. Exercise a little patience and try and see the situation through their eyes first and then make a decision on how to act. Changing your approach from antagonising to mentoring or compassion will not only help that person but will also provide you with much greater satisfaction. Imagine that was the approach others had towards you…