Improve Yourself and Permeate Positivity

I think in my posts, I ask questions because that’s how a topic is spurred on in my mind. The question is planted. As it grows, thoughts, solutions and concepts develop.

 

Some questions I have posted are whether your dreams are being pursued and if you are taking ground towards achieving them. Even if you are only gaining ground by miniscule amounts, you are still gaining ground. I also asked what voices you are listening to and to stop the negativity that is rife around us. I have encouraged you to be an encourager. I have been reading a book about Aaron Kennard called “The Positive Thinking Secret”. Aaron was a healthy man who was also a pretty good runner. He was a husband and a father. A typical happy family. He was suddenly and drastically struck down with ulcerative colitis that caused him unimaginable pain and suffering. His remedy to push through that time was to believe that through every terrible experience, there is an equally positive outcome.

 

“We are all free to choose our thoughts, which control all of our experiences. And regardless of our circumstances, we always have the freedom to choose the way we think. Certainly outside circumstance, people, events, etc. influence our thoughts and thinking. But ultimately it is up to us to decide what to think and how to think it. We get to decide whether to accept or reject a thought.”  

 

The words he wrote sunk in as firm confirmation of the thoughts I have been posting in my blog the past two weeks. Now that we can identify the thoughts, accept or reject them to create a more positive outlook, I ask now, what are you doing to improve yourself?  It’s one thing to be on the defensive and ward off the negativity but let’s take it a bolder stance and develop so much positivity and light in the world that there are no shadows or dark recesses for negativity to creep in.

 

Every day presents an opportunity, to either go to bed being exactly the same as when you woke up or to grab the experiences and time you have been gifted with, to become a better version of yourself. This can be achieved in a number of capacities, physical health and wellbeing, mental prowess, spiritual development and positive relationship development, to name a few areas which I am currently working on. Being a sporty type of person, I value physical health and place a large priority and a generous portion of my time towards improvement in this area. The relationship category however, tends to be harder work for me and often is neglected.  We all have different make-ups and will prioritise things differently, but the key is to find a balance so all these areas are attended to in some degree, without one becoming an obsession and another being completely neglected. This takes some effort but I encourage you to identify your key areas and to spend time each day improving yourself in these, and you’ll find that you actually like yourself a whole lot more and also respect yourself for making a positive difference.

 

The happiness within yourself will also permeate and be evident to those around you. This, in turn, would then have a positive effect on them too.

Who Are You Listening To?

How do you know when you are performing well? When you are doing your best and putting your all into something?

What voices are you expecting, wanting to hear?

• Someone in authority, acknowledging a job well done?
• Someone you love, who should be noticing your efforts and not taking your input for granted?
• A friend who appreciates your kind gesture?
• A peer, commending you on an achievement?

How about your own voice, giving yourself some overdue praise? This may sound a little strange, but sometimes we take ourselves for granted, always expecting some external recognition. It’s Friday, so stop and review what you have accomplished this week. You will have weeks where, just making it to Friday is a victory! Other weeks you may have a number of snapshots to reflect on and say well done to yourself. Make an effort every week to find at least one gem to hold up and celebrate. Too often the voice in our head is suggesting negative and unproductive thoughts that have no value other than to break us down. I know I can get into a downward spiral where that  thought seems like all I can focus on, with respite. Only when you reach absolute desperation, can you break free and begin to resurface. What I (we) should do, is as soon as you recognise that voice, stop it in its tracks and find that gem again. Remind yourself you are better and capable of better than what the voice is suggesting.
Take this a step further and be a positive voice in acknowledging someone else’s job done well. Tell your loved ones you are grateful for all they do; the important things as well as the silly and small things. Be a positive encourager. That could just be your gem for the week…
If someone else was providing the negative voice, take account of what was said, identify if there is anything you can learn from the comment and make an effort to better yourself with that lesson. Delete everything else pertaining to the message. If it had no value then dismiss it completely. Don’t hold onto it and reply it in your mind. Words can only harm you if you allow them. So, you decide what to accept into your thoughts and what you allow to camp in the dark recesses of the mind.

The more you practise this, the less the negativity will have a role to play in your life. Just as negativity breeds negativity, so positivity breeds positivity.

Nurtured Growth

A wise man shared a story with me which, as he told it, revealed a much deeper meaning. I am not sure he intended to share the story as a parable or just as an interesting anecdote, but we both saw the value in the message.

As a fine chef, fresh ingredients are of paramount importance, particularly the herbs. Freshly picked herbs have far superior flavour so imagine the dilemma when the chef found his basil plants depleted. Recalling that he had some seeds stashed away in the shed, he rummaged through all the containers he had in storage until he found an old tin with the rolled up packet of basil seeds inside. Inspecting the packet, the seeds were some years old and well passed the best before date. With nothing to lose and a bit of faith, the chef planted the seeds in some good soil, gave them some water and positioned them in a protected sun-lit area.

Daily, the chef checked on the seeds, watered them, checked nothing was interfering with their growth and waited patiently. After a few days, the chef was rewarded with the first signs of green leaves pushing through the soil. With continued care and nurturing, the small leaves broke through the soil and developed into seedlings. Once the seedlings were mature enough, they were transferred to the vegetable garden. With some continued nurturing, the seedlings developed into fully grown basil plants. The leaves could be harvested and their flavour used to compliment a variety of dishes.

The underlying message here, is the hidden skills we all have buried within us. The talents and flavours we have stored deep down, just need to be realised, nurtured and brought to the table.

Perhaps there are things we lack the confidence to bring to the world. Perhaps we did and were heartlessly rejected and are now too scared to try again. Perhaps it’s something we don’t even know we have a flair for.

Each scenario needs somebody to bring that talent out from the dark, put some faith and confidence into growing that skill. To take a nurturing role.  We just have to take a step of faith and believe in our talent.

The chef in the story planted those seeds even though they had long since expired. If he didn’t have some small belief that the seeds would still grow, he would have been stupid for wasting his time in planting them. That tiny bit of faith is all that was required to initiate new growth. In the same way you just have to have the faith in yourself and make yourself available to be nurtured.

One Little Starfish At A Time

I really have to be careful when I commit in writing to an attitude change, as the challenges that follow really do test you in that specific area. I equate this to committing yourself to a race. What would be the point of entering a race if you never actually put on your running shoes and built up a sweat? How would you know that you could make the distance if you don’t get to try the challenges of the route? My positivity commitment put me onto a rather challenging course this week, but I believe I can take a pat on the back as I think I fared fairly well and although I know the race is far from over, I made it over some pretty tough climbs.

This week I am committing to easier commitments… I suppose that would be one way to simplify the challenges, but really, what do we then achieve? A life of mediocrity and settling for the status quo? No thank you. We were designed for so much more. Our lives are not mere random cells coming together to form a body, we were designed and planned for this world for a purpose far greater than just surviving. We need to recognise and embrace this, so with each day we can look back and see it wasn’t a wasted day but see something where we made a difference (a positive difference). It may be a seemingly insignificant thing but it was something YOU did. If you chose not to make the effort and let that moment slip away without your contribution, it may never be realised. The title of the blog series, “Seize The Moment”, is apt for this topic. Don’t let a single moment of being able to make a positive difference slip away. I think we are too afraid to put ourselves “out there”.  It is so comfortable in our know little area of operating. Stepping outside the bubble seems risky and perhaps we perceive the risk outweighs the reward, so we stay where we are and a precious moment is lost. There is also no personal growth in that area, so the next time a similar opportunity arises it will be easy to stay inside the bubble again. Seize the moment and reach outside of the bubble. Each time you do it, the bubble actually grows allowing you a much greater area of influence and of course more opportunities to reach out again. It’s like a chain reaction, once started, it becomes easier and easier to put yourself out-there. Sure there will be times when your action doesn’t achieve the result expected or the reaction isn’t quite as positive as you desired. This may make you think twice before reaching out again. That is fine, as long as it doesn’t stop you completely from reaching out.

• Keep smiling at people.
• Always offer to help, no-one is too important to not be able to help someone else in need.
• Compliment somebody today.
• Thank people for their contribution.
• Listen to what somebody else is saying.

Such simple daily events that can make a huge positive impact. Keep doing those and then look for the greater opportunities to make a difference. I can guarantee you they are always around you but we have become so accustomed to tuning them out of our window of view, that we don’t see them anymore. Remove the filters and identify where you can make a difference, one small starfish at a time…  (StarfishStory Link)