Fellow Travellers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EjTIxEBYac&feature=share

I received this poem the other day about our lives being symbolised by a train journey and the passengers being the people we meet along the way. I guess everyone can relate to it in at least a few ways.

What struck a chord with me, was how people pass through your life. You don't know how long they will stay and you don't know how they will impact your life and you theirs. Some things are certain, the train will start a journey and the journey will end. Passengers will get on and passengers will get off. The quality of the time together and the type of impact is decided by  you. You decide with whom and how you interact. It is true that you can’t interact with every single passenger and even those you do interact with is done so at varying levels of connection or relationship.  Some may be really intimate with whom you may share your deepest secrets and dreams, and others may be purely functional, like the ticket collector, for example. Both are necessary, so remember to respect them for the roles they play in your journey.  What about those people you don’t meet or those you have the briefest encounters with? How much of an influence can you have on them? Show them your best side. Give them a warm smile and say ‘hello’. It may be just the thing they need at that precise moment to lift them up. You may have been position in that exact spot at that exact time to do something as simple as smile but is something that only you could do, choose to do it. It can never do any damage but can bring about so much joy, it’s worth doing…

What about the people we love and lose along the way? Lost or could lose through death or a choice of different stations and destinations? Do you chose not to love again and expose yourself to potential loss or do you hold onto the good, and hope for a future of even more love?

The train we chose has a heading of unknown destination. We do know that it will end its journey at some point and we have dreams and visions of the destinations along the way. Depending on our circumstances we may chose a slight detour and switch tracks to a new dream. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Sometimes the train is stationary to take on fuel and water or much needed repairs. The same is true for our lives, when we need time out to be refreshed for the next leg of the journey.

Be ready, as the journey will have mountains and dark valleys but remember there are also beautiful landscape views at the top of the mountain and an incredible ride down the other side. The valleys contain treasures and hidden secrets that wouldn’t have been otherwise found. The journey also has spectacular sunrises and sunsets, moments that will always be remembered. There will be fellow passengers that will be locked in your heart, whether sitting next to you or moved on to other destinations. Cherish the journey and make the moments.

True To Yourself?

How do you portray yourself to the world and how much of what you display is the real you?

Do you conform to what the world expects of you or are you true to yourself?

I understand that there are situations where behaviour has to be adapted or controlled accordingly. For instance, you don’t behave in the same manner at a new year’s party as you do in a corporate board meeting and I do understand that moods and emotions also alter one’s behaviour. What I am referring to is the underlying character and building blocks of your self, the real you. What thoughts you have in your head, what you truly believe, who you are when you are alone.  These are what should not be compromised at any cost, just to suit expectations or to reach a current objective. Any change to your foundation or core will only weaken your overall being. You are who you are and if you have to change that to please someone else, then the truth is that they are not worth pleasing! If you are not that person they are looking for then move on and find out where you are appreciated for your true character. This is not only true in relationships but also in your place of work, community life, cultural groups, etc… Don’t compromise your true self as you are short-changing yourself and those around you with in-effect  – a lie, a façade, a disguise. It may work for a time but eventually the effort to keep up the front will be exhausting and the cost to yourself will outweigh the reward every time, guaranteed.

Being true to yourself does not mean that you are inflexible and opposed to new experiences and ideas. It means going through those experiences with an open mind and filtering them through your core beliefs. Keep those that fit and allow those that don’t align with your core filter, to pass through but now enriched with a new knowledge and understanding of what that experience is about.

Often those that are true to themselves are considered strange, unusual or weird, because they challenge the norm of worldly expectation, not out of rebellion but because they know who they are and are actually comfortable with themselves. I say they are the normal ones and the rest are the strange robots and clones created by the world in their masses. All sounds a bit science-fiction, but if we don’t stop and reassess who we truly are, why we are here and where we are heading then welcome to clone city. We were created as individuals with such unique characters, we need to foster an environment where everyone is valued for their differences. Let that be an objective in your heart: to not jump to quick judgement of someone because they are not the same as you. Experience that difference, you may be surprised what you find. The more we allow this to happen, the more accepting people will be towards one another and the freer people will be, to be themselves.

Trials and Tests

There is an idiom ‘manners maketh man’. While this is still very true, I can add to that and say ‘trials and tests maketh man’ or maybe more so, the way we handle those trials and tests that life throws at us.

• Do we runaway, never facing the issues, ever hopeful that they will just go away?
• Do we stick our head in the sand and pretend there is nothing going on and let the trial run its course uncontrolled?
• Do we wallow in a pit of misery, not able to get up and move forward?
• Do we take on a victim stance, blaming everyone and everything around us for the situation?
• Or do we man-up, put on our armour and go to war with the issue?

Tests will always be a part of life, it is the nature of this world and the people on it. Living in solitude in a cave on a mountain will still bring you strife as will living in a community in a first world country. How are you responding to the trial or test you are facing?

Firstly, understand that the trial will move on but the impact it has can be influenced by the stance you take. As impossible or as ridiculous as this sounds, embrace it, own it and identify what it actually is. A doctor cannot fully treat an illness without the acknowledgment that it is there and knowing what it is. Imagine trying to run away from or ignore a burst appendix, the impact and consequences could be tragic. Be sure, the issue is not going to go away so rather, tackle it head-on. Get to the root of the issue and start working towards getting it fixed. This may be painful, embarrassing, take a huge measure of courage and humility but will ultimately resolve the issue in the best possible manner. Will there be casualties? Of course. That is the unfortunate element of a war; someone will go through suffering, someone could be hurt and friendships may be lost. In the same attitude, war can bring people together to support one another through the pain, new bonds can be developed and if built through an adversity can actually become the strongest bonds of friendship.

Secondly, identify your role in the situation. How have you participated in arriving where you stand right now? You certainly did not arrive without participation, this is your life after-all! Having said that, I do acknowledge that life does throw some curve-balls where a truck can come out of nowhere and take you out while you are pedalling down the road of life. Even it that, there are still contributions that positioned you/me on that particular road at that particular time. Decisions that appeared sound at the time and still appear sound now that if the event was rewound and relived, those same decisions would probably be made again. This is because the actual outcome and the small decisions that got you/me there seem so detached and unrelated, however they still got me there. I have said it before, own your actions. This is important in rectifying the current situation and identifying when you are heading down that same road again in the future.

Aim where you want to be. If you know where you are, you know what is wrong, now set your sights on where you need to be otherwise you will stay in your state much longer than is necessary. Equip yourself with whatever you need to get to your destination. This may be a physical move out of your current circumstances, cutting out all that is toxic in your life, surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends, getting training or skills to be able to move forward, finding your armour.

Start the battle and start it now. Every journey that is really worthwhile, will be difficult. Be prepared for battle. Don’t call it to you, but be ready for it. Don’t procrastinate, now is the time to start moving forward. Every moment you wait, is a moment lost to the trial. It’s a moment you are not going to get back. Reach out a hand and get up from the being knocked down. Believe it will get better.

Finally, if you have ever been knocked down before, look around and offer a hand to those who need it, I can guarantee that you won’t have to look very far.

Change or Lose a Potential Success

I have previously written about discovering your passion and finding what it is that gets you going.

I find it easy to identify that which turns me off, but so much harder to really find that niche that gives enough of a challenge to stimulate my senses but not so much to stretch me beyond breaking point.

Find somebody in their niche and you will find somebody satisfied. The rest of us seem to be striving to get through what's on our plate or just pacing ourselves to keep going through the mundaneness of the daily motions.

To move on or rather out of those scenarios, requires a conscious decision to change, an attitude of faith that there is something better and a commitment to follow through on the decided actions.

Change is scary. There is a sense of comfort in the status quo, no matter what that status may be. It's that fear, that often keeps us where we are.

Change can be exciting; crossing that threshold from the status quo to embrace your intended destiny.

Change comes with a requirement to open your mind to new opportunities, experiences and interaction with new people. Change doesn't mean leaving everything you know behind, but rather an opportunity to shed the parts of your life you need to, to make your life 'greater'. Limit bringing along the baggage and negativity that pulls you down from where you should be. Baggage can be in the form of a bad experience, a poor track record/history, toxic people and relationships, poor self-esteem or just a plain bad attitude. The important thing is to take with you is the lesson learnt from that experience, so as not to repeat previous mistakes.

The reality is, that sometimes a change-decision results in a complete disaster although every possible mitigating action was implemented. There is always risk in change. No one can convince me otherwise. There is no 'sure-thing' in this world. However, I do believe there is a 100% chance of loss if we don't take risk and make change-decisions. We lose out on our potential success by staying exactly where we are. I don't for one instant say throw caution to the wind and start something without the right planning and consultation. Remember 'we can't all be Bruce Springsteen'! I have certainly made decisions and done things I regret, even some I am embarrassed of and I wish I could 'undo' all of them. Such is life and no amount of wishing or dreaming will ever change my past. I have to accept responsibility for my actions and move on. There's even a lesson in that; every decision and action you make comes with accountability and taking responsibility for your actions for both the favourable and disastrous outcomes. Don't hide behind blaming others or circumstances. Own your actions and decisions. Hopefully then, a bit more consideration will go into each choice and action you take, recognising that however the change-decision pans out, it is still autographed by you and is represented in full by your real character.