Will You Be the One to Stop?

This week I have been feeling very sorry for myself. I have managed to strain my 'glutes' which have become so stiff that my gait resembles that of a star wars robot. The seized muscles have almost locked up any movement in my waist and manifested in terrible back pain. Any one who has experienced back-pain knows how limiting it is because anything other than sitting still results in searing pain. What this has reminded me of is, that when a part of the body is suffering, the rest of the body is also affected. All focus is on the problem and all actions are concerned with improving the situation. My irritability is directly related to the level of discomfort I am experiencing and the heat packs, massaging, deep heat and trying be still are all the actions taken to get well again. Little else occupies my mind while in this level of discomfort.

If this is a natural manner to respond to a body in distress, then why don't we have a similar instinctive response to another person in distress? Why is it that our empathy for others can run so shallow? Sure, our close family and friends get a measure of compassion but how far do we really go within our actual limits of ability? Do we do just enough to appease any guilt that might plague us or do we put it all on the line?

Taking it a step further, what are you prepared to do for complete strangers in distress?

I know we can't go around helping every single individual in need. That's just not practical. You must find an avenue that 'speaks' to you. I know that sounds a bit new agey but I'm sure you have had that inner voice speak to you about situations and impresses on you what you should do. I had a situation the other day driving home where I saw a whole family who appeared homeless and were transporting their belongings on a small flatbed trolley on the side of the M4 highway. A young couple with two boys probably around 7 and 8 years old. Something in me urged me to pull over and give them some money. I wish I could tell you a moving outcome for this story but I did not listen to the urging and dismissed it as crazy and just carried on driving. I don't know how or why that family was in the situation they were in or what they would have done with the money. All kinds of thoughts about drug abuse, being too lazy to find menial work, run through my head probably to validate my non-action. I will probably never know the why or where they end up, I just know I missed out on an opportunity to bless them. Perhaps that money would have been enough to get new clothes that made him presentable for a job that could set them back on track again? There was a "body" in distress and another part of the body (me) just drove on by, ignoring the message it had received.
I wonder how many other drivers with the same received message drove on by?
I wonder if there was one who stopped and attended to the body that was suffering?

The Life Defining Moment

I always remember an episode of the Oprah show where she was speaking about life defining moments and how we all have specific moments that we can say have altered us and shaped who we are today. As we grow older and have new experiences, the ranking of those defining moments continually changes. What seemed immeasurably important to you at one stage can dissolve into insignificance when put into perspective of new revelations of value.

When I think of  my life defining moments, my list starts with my accident and the loss of my son, Michael. These two moments stand head and shoulders above anything else I have ever been through and have forever changed my perspective. My accident has rearranged my priorities and made me realise the value of my beautiful family and how short that precious time could be. It also made me aware that even when we feel isolated from the world, there are many people who care even if we don't get daily confirmation of this. Take stock of those people while you can. It also made me realise that I need to make a difference with my life and not just survive it. Losing Michael was hugely traumatic but opened up an area of my heart that I never knew existed. It showed me the magnitude of love I could have for another human and allowed me to fully embrace this alien concept of fatherhood without any limitation of my love for Matt and Dan.

How would I have learned these things without actually experiencing those dark moments?
Did I enjoy those times? Of course not, but am I better off for them? Absolutely! I have gained so much from those experiences that I would never have gained in any other way. I guess that's the my experiential truth of the saying that it is the darkest moments that reveal even the tiniest of lights.

I'm sure you can immediately think about experiences that have affected you as well. Perhaps you are in one of those moments of darkness, not understanding why, not being able to see the end, filled with fear or anger or just completely over-whelmed by it. Remember your other life defining moments you have over-come and trust you will pull through this one as well. Trust that you will be stronger for it.

If you are currently in a good space, reflect on your life defining moments and see how you can utilise those experiences to help someone else. Take the time to help them to see that light in the darkness.  This could be your first step into the "People are Good" movement.

Join the "People are Good" Movement

I am very quick to pass judgement on other peoples' actions. The way they cut me off in traffic circles, the way they conduct their finances, the way they speak to others and the list could go on and on... I know I am super critical of others behaviour and probably have an unrealistic expectation of the general human race, but maybe I live in everlasting hope that one day it will change.

What I am not so quick at judging is: all my shortfalls in the exact same categories! Why is it ok for me to drive fast and get impatient (read drive on his rear bumper, flashing lights) with the guy who is driving sedately. "Doesn't he have any respect for others?" Did I ignore that family who was destitute making some 'rational' explanation in my mind how they got themselves there so why should I go out of my way to help? Is it really acceptable even if the things I said were done in defense of my character so I have no reason to apologise. I am being real here. Judge me if you want, but if you check yourself, perhaps you will find similar shortfalls. There are so many areas I can improve on, I just have to decide to do it, regardless of my internal rationalising.
I was watching a reality program where two guys travel over 9000 km across South America, starting their journey by emptying their pockets of all money. They have to rely on the willingness of people who would allow them to work in exchange for food and shelter along their journey. At the end of the journey the comment was, "People are good!" I really long for the day I can truly believe that about people because right now my opinion has become quite jaded. Seeing how families with almost nothing, invite these strangers into their homes and provide them with food sparked a little glow in me that within humanity there is still hope. We each have that option to be part of the "People are good" movement or we can continue being suspicious and keep everyone at arm's length, or perhaps further.
Let's be the reason someone else says, "People are good," rather than waiting to find the reason in someone else! Go ahead make someone's day.

(check out this site http://www.peopleforgood.ca/do-some-good/ )