The Metamorphosis

If you are not sure what this whole life thing is about or you are constantly trying to find some meaning or purpose for your being placed here, then I congratulate you. You have reached a point that has surpassed merely existing and are now trying to make a purpose for yourself.

There are so many "existers" in this world when we need more "purposers".

The "existers" float around, aimless, drawn into random experiences one after the other. Some of these are quite useful and value adding but the "exister" was just pulled in by mere chance. A "purposer" has direction and an end goal in mind. They are conscience about every choice they have to make and whether it is taking them closer to or drawing them away from that end goal.

If you have reached that transition point where you are questioning your "exister" phase, then you are ready to become a "purposer". This transition phase may be quick for some and may last for years for others. I have not yet fully metamorphosized into a complete "purposer" yet and have been in this phase for some years. It can be frustrating. Very frustrating. The longer you are in that cocoon of change, the more driving is that desire to have a purpose. It becomes a desperate existence. That cocoon feeling almost like a trap. Take hope, in that the struggle you are feeling, is building strength in you, it is driving you to find that purpose that really gets you excited about life. Something unique that fits your personality and heart's desires. Don't get so frustrated that you take the first opportunity you see to get out. It may be a tear in your cocoon and you are not ready for the full metamorphosis yet. Stitch that tear up and continue being patient in what you are already doing until you know, beyond a doubt that what is calling you out of the cocoon of transition is really your life purpose and is your heart's passion. You will know...

Finding The Joy

This week I had a day that was absolutely beautiful. Perhaps even the best day of my life. Coming off of a birthday party weekend for my boys, I decided to spend the afternoon of their real birthday with them on Monday. The time at work flew by without anything dragging me down. Arriving at the school and being greeted with such love and excitement is beyond expression. Our afternoon wasn't an elaborate affair. Just a simple meal at a family restaurant, playing some games in their entertainment area and then home to open gifts. The reward of seeing one's children going to bed so happy and content is something only a parent can understand.
This will be a day I lock away in my memory banks and will call on when I am harassed by the pressures and circumstances of daily life. That joy I felt, will be something I will strive to have every day. There is actually no reason to live in a place constantly thinking about the atrocities around yourself. Dwelling in those dark places is not helping solve the situation and is definitely not helping yourself. Don't ignore the issues of the world but rather choose to take your mind to where there is joy. If you can't find that place, here are the directions:
 - Do something kind and unexpected for someone else.
Taking your focus from the negative and using your efforts to create a positive in someone else's life will only ever generate joy in both the giver and the receiver.
 - Go and do something fun.
For me that's easy. Hopping on a bike is not only great exercise but totally thrilling for me. Doing something fun doesn't have be an hugely expensive event either. It can be as simple as taking a walk in the rain, go swim in the ocean, have coffee with that friend you have been meaning to.
 - Hug someone you love.
And not just a limp-armed one second pat on the back. It must be a full body, locked-arm-wrap-type hug which lasts long enough so that you feel the warmth generate between you. (I did say this has to be someone you love!)

If we all find a little joy today, what an awesome day it will be. Go and find the joy.

Title Deed

Yesterday I caught myself being ungrateful. Not the usual ungrateful type moment where you think it would be nice to have a new bike, go on more holidays or to have a new wardrobe of clothes or even want to go out for a meal as often as you see others do. The moment I had yesterday was a real spoilt-brat occasion and I felt quite embarrassed afterwards.

I have recently heard and read a couple of messages about 'entitlement'. I don't think that it is any coincidence, but rather a message that is something I should be paying attention to. I have probably reached that age where I have sufficient history to look back on and take stock of where I have been. Doing so, can be quite uplifting in seeing what trials have been overcome and the progress that has been made. The danger comes in when an attitude of 'entitlement' starts to develop. "Because of all I have been through, surely I deserve to have more? I have earned a title deed!"

That is not how life works though! You cannot expect to receive a proportionate share of blessings as reward for your adversity. If that were the case, there would be so many more entitled people ahead of us (me) anyway.

I also think the comparison with the Joneses is such a dangerous game. There will always be
those that 'have' and those that don't. Some may have toiled and managed to get where they are through pure hard work and perseverance while others have had everything handed to them. If you don't fall into the latter category, guess what, you are going to have to be one of those that really work to get what you want. It's not a case of fairness, it's a case of reality, accepting your lot and making the best of your situation. Forget the Joneses, remember who you are.

Another dangerous scenario is even if you aren't comparing to the Joneses but comparing against yourself, and you appear to be regressing rather than advancing. "Why is this happening to me? I don't deserve this."
I was reminded about how fruit trees and roses are pruned at regular intervals to remove the dead wood as well as some seemingly good branches. What seems like down-sizing actually stimulates more growth and production or more fruit and flowers. So, although the "why" may not be evident at the moment of pruning, be assured that you can grow and be even more productive than before.

I have said it before, but I'll repeat it for my own sake,  take stock of where you are, appreciate and celebrate what is important around you. Put more emphasis on family and friends than "stuff", let the Joneses worry about that...

Be Where You Are

Can you remember a time when you were absolutely overflowing with joy?
When was there a period that you were totally content with your life?

Why is it we cannot remain in these moments? Why do we always seem to derail and head into a type of survival mode, desperate for some relief from the 'daily grind'? The answer is simple, "We can!"
Just as we can choose our memories and can playback those emotions, we can also chose our state of mind. We can choose to see what we do have and not see our perceived lack. We can choose to see ourselves in our full potential rather than focus on seeming character deficiencies.
It's when we compare ourselves to others that we start allowing envy and jealousy to seep in and rob that joy and contentment from our lives. There will always be people with more than yourself. You haven't walked in their shoes and experienced what they have. You don't even know if they are really happy or content with their more!

Be grateful for where you are. Dream big, but never let the gap between your current circumstances and where you are aiming, become such an obsession that you forget about where you actually are and what you already have. Be where you are. Live with what you have.  Life, family, friends: more precious than any earthly treasure and should be given even more regard and hold our attention so much more than we do our earthly treasures.